Thank you for taking the time to write that huge reply Sandi2, it really does help. I am coming around to what I must do. Two steps forward and one step back. Its hard and takes time, but I am working on it daily.
I have found myself lately starting feel better about myself. Starting to say to myself that I deserve better, that I don't deserve to have been treated the way I had. That I can move on, that I don't need my W. Just some things I have noticed that have made me realise that my W is still somewhat in the fog, but its been enough to give me strength to start moving on.
Of course I still hope that me doing that will make her come to her senses, I mean, almost all LBH would be hoping, in the back of their mind, that doing a 180 would do that. But I am seeing the benefits of doing it to prepare myself for the future without her now.
Thanks again to everyone for their replies. They are helping.
Feeling pretty crap today. I have been seeing some of my/our close friends the past week and telling them that we are separated and that my W had an A. Seeing them react has been hard. Some of them were really close to my W and were quite hurt at what she did.
I went a full day no contact yesterday and I feel like crap today because of it. I know this is what I have to do but its so hard. I miss her....
I flip back and forth throughout the day from hurt to angry to sad to happy to content etc. I guess its kind of sinking in as I am trying to put some distance between us.
Anyways, just dumping some thoughts out of my head...
I truly get what your going through. Personally tjere have been tomes where I habe had those same feelings multiples times in a day. Honestly I wonder how I got anything accomplished. And I actually still stay on the same home as W. It's going to be like this for awhile, but once you get fed up lile I am now. This various feelings won't be like they are today.
