Artista, so what transpired during those false starts and what exactly changed for the true reconciliation to start happening?
what would happen is my H would begin to have certain expectations, and i would pull back... go cold... because i was not committed to my marriage... i liked having it there, on my terms... having him there, on my terms... being able to dabble in the "family" stuff with H and our sons... but still feel free enough to go do my own thing...
he got to where he was indifferent to me... and i liked this at first... i felt like he had his own life, and i had mine... but we were still married... he was not rude or mean to me... all that had passed... but he showed no interest in my life...
a lot of time went by where we were living our own lives... almost two years... there was so much about my life at that time that he knew nothing about... i cannot say what exactly triggered my approaching him about reconciliation... there is a lot that i will post in my thread because it's just too much to put here... but there came a time where i could no longer run away from or sweep away what i was feeling... it was all starting to come out as depression and anxiety... that's when everything hit me... what i was walking away from (my family)... what i was throwing away (my marriage)...
Sandi2, thank you for always taking the time to lend your support. When she said that she was sorry for everything and that she really messed up, it was around 5 in the morning so I was just waking up for work. I replied that I can see why she feels like she messed everything up and then said that we can discuss this at another time. I was definitely not ready at the time to talk about anything dealing with our R. Then I got up to go take a shower.
TBH I can see her trying to play the "she doesn't know" card as that was what she said when I talked to her months ago about physically separating. I like your suggestion for initiating the conversation. It doesn't come off as cold or angry. That is the part I was struggling with. I didn't want it to start off harsh and go downhill from there. I really would like a sincere and productive talk no matter which way it goes.
Artista, thank you for your response. It is funny that you mention depression and anxiety. My W has had issues with anxiety for many years. She has been on and off medication to help with it. When things really started to get bad for us was last year in August which coincidentally was around the same time she stopped taking her meds.
About 7 or 8 weeks ago she was talking to me and telling me how the anxiety was starting to come back strong and that she was thinking about going back on the medication. She asked me what she should do and even asked if I thought it would help with us. All I could tell her was that I couldn't be the one to answer that and she needed to make that decision for herself and figure out what was best.
She wound up going back to the doctor and started taking them about a week after that.
Last edited by Cadet; 12/13/1711:04 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
