I am seriously trying to drop the rope. I think that maybe just giving up and letting him go his way will be better for all. I won't be jealous anymore or angry. I will have just finally given up. So I told him. If this is what he wants then let's get lawyers in the fall when he comes back and close this chapter. I'm just not healing in limbo. I love him and I want him back. But it's like a band aid that I just keep ripping off and exposing the wound. He looked like he was going to cry when I told him that we can close this chapter in September. But honestly. He keeps telling me he's never coming back and having hope is killing me.
