There is NO WAY she would take a vacation with me if she didn't have some sort of connection with me. do you know this for a fact? without a doubt? -my wife took a mini vacation, why wouldn't they? not sure who's paying or this or that, but you were her best friend, the father of her children, easier to take a vacation with someone who can help with the kids, etc. In my case I paid for the vacation as my wife did not work.
She is not the type of woman that takes advantage of me or people in general. You know, I thought this of my wife as well, my wife was the nicest person ever, never would i have thought she would in fact take advantage of me or people. and yet she did. People change, just as you're changing for the better, she too can change for the worse.
[/b]She is truly conflicted and testing the waters. [b]you're right she is testing the waters. You being there catering to her and doing the little things is not helping her learn to live without you. or miss you for that matter.
[/b]1. Deep down she wants to work on the marriage [b] is this true? do you absolutely know this for a FACT? [/b]2. She is skeptical of all of the changes that I have made and needs to know deep down that they will stick.[b] is this true? do you absolutely know this for a FACT? -I think we can all agree, the answer to these questions are No. you don't know this to be true or an undeniable fact.
Sellout, you probably also though she was the type of woman who would never cheat on you. What you are dealing with right now is who she is right now. She is a woman who is an active affair and cake eating.
You are mind-reading her like crazy when what is happening is happening right in front of your face.
Right now she is the type of woman who is living in an open marriage.
If you think living in an open marriage is going to get your W to drop OM and come back to you, well, then ok, I guess continue on. but I don't know of one situation where that happened in the 9 years I have been here.
I'm going to use the 2x4 that was applied to me: You don't have a marriage right now. Your wife is off somewhere doing something with someone else. That's the relationship she cares about right now, not the one with you. Your wife is not the woman she used to be, and is not the woman you believe she is.
Imputing motives does not help your situation, it worsens it. You are making analyses based on bad data, and that results in bad decisions.
You're making this about her. It needs to be about you. That's all you can control.
