I am once again feeling like a giant mess. I keep doing things but at night Feel so sad. I don't understand I have turned my life around and am doing better than I ever had emotionally and NOW he wants to Leave???
HlpHeal,
This is the truth that us LBS come to know too well. It is a pain that can really mess you up if you let it. It makes absolutely no sense to us that our M is not worth it.
Keep working on you as you've recognized that you have turned your life around and are in control emotionally. Congratulate yourself on this big accomplishment and don't stop. These improvements are for you and you only because you deserve them.
I know there are no magic words that can heal you, but we're all here with you in the trenches. This is really hard work, but remember to live in the present and not the past or future. Each day will bring challenges, but you've got this.
All the best.
Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10 Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13 Reconcile: 07/07/13 Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17 Apartment Life: 04/21/17 PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
Thank you. yes every day is different and confusing. Some moments I feel hope then sadness, then feel like I am dealing with it well. It is an emotional roller coaster. I just keep remembering not to show it in front of the H. I try to be a kind person and friendly and treat H as a nice neighbor. Best I can do right now. I have some good friends that are supportive which makes all the difference. Saw on the list of things to get a hold of the lawyer for this week so trying to prepare myself for that without thinking the worst either.So many thoughts!
So my H is moving very fast, and has decided to hire his lawyer and says I am to receive divorce papers this week! I don't know what to do now? Just get a lawyer and go through all of that? I wanted to keep divorce busting but seems it is falling apart before my eyes. I continue to be nice but now starting to get things about I can't do this or that or comes out of my settlement. What? I feel like my life is being controlled. Trying to figure out what to do for a job, i have none. Where will I live? H says selling the house. The divorce remedy doesn't talk about when it is getting closer and H is pushing it fast. What do I do now? Pls Help!
If he says you're about to receive divorce papers, you need to find a lawyer. It [censored], but you have to. I would suggest asking (divorced) friends if they have any recommendations, and interview three or four and pick the one you think would be best. You also might want to think about finding a job, both as GAL and as a way to support yourself if the worst happens.
The lawyer will help you file a motion for temporary support ("alimony pendente lite") so you will have some money. Then, when the house sells, you need to find somewhere where you can live within that amount. It [censored], and I'm sorry.
Just because he's filed doesn't mean you have to stop DBing. Many of the tenets of DBing will help you whether you divorce or stay together.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
So I have been out of town and husband still has not filed papers for divorce. Threatened now a second time four days ago via text. It seems that he has everything in place to do so but for whatever reason has not done so yet. Was thinking that is a good thing? Also interesting upon my return looks like checks to give lawyer were left out for him to write them up but they are waiting on the table. Said would do so going on three weeks now. Also ..has not moved out because lawyer says bad idea for him to show can support two households H told me this. Seems very deceptive to me but who knows. Any thoughts? Thanks
M: 21 y Me: 41 H: 41 H: still not filed but threatened
