How does someone just one day turn evil on you? I did nothing but give her everything she wanted and loved spending time with her. She has become a completely different person. I don't know her at all. This is insane.
Sorry Jason. It is like a switch. In many ways, I think they all store up the little resentments over the years until that little snowball is an avalanche. Once it starts to fall, it cannot stop until it's done.
Where are you going to be on the other side? That's all you can worry about with yourself and how you are doing with or without your W.
It's a long hard road. Hope you've had an ok day today.
Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10 Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13 Reconcile: 07/07/13 Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17 Apartment Life: 04/21/17 PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
Very sorry to hear the news. I've gone through the process and it's no fun. Remember that "her requests" are not really hers. Her lawyer's job is to get the best settlement for her that he possibly can. In most states everything ends up in the same place ultimately, the only difference is what you spend on fighting.
Be strong, take care of yourself, divorce is completely survivable, I'm proof.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
This just keeps going from bad to worse. I offered her directly a settlement to end this without the use of lawyers. I want the money to go directly to her and so that we wouldn't have to sell our house in florida.
I got a call from her father that said..."she'll accept...HER LAWYER is going to contact you to hammer out the details of the settlement."
umm...sorry...talking to HER lawyer directly without my own lawyer present sounds like an absolutely horrible and dangerous idea. am i wrong to think that?
this marriage will never ever be fixed. i've come to terms with the fact that these methods have not helped my situation in any way. it's as over as it'll ever be.
This just keeps going from bad to worse. I offered her directly a settlement to end this without the use of lawyers. I want the money to go directly to her and so that we wouldn't have to sell our house in florida.
I got a call from her father that said..."she'll accept...HER LAWYER is going to contact you to hammer out the details of the settlement."
umm...sorry...talking to HER lawyer directly without my own lawyer present sounds like an absolutely horrible and dangerous idea. am i wrong to think that?
this marriage will never ever be fixed. i've come to terms with the fact that these methods have not helped my situation in any way. it's as over as it'll ever be.
First, seeing the reality of the divorce and or facing it later on, can shake some people up. In California, a third of divorces filed (presumably with lawyers) are never completed.
Second, IF her lawyer directly communicates with you - 1) get your own L to at least review the document
and when you hire a L, make sure it's a family/divorce lawyer, not some guy who advertises for DWI and criminal and blah blah blah oh, AND divorce
AND OR 2) if her L contacts you too soon, (Before you hire your own )
tell her L to send you something in writing and then hire your own. Do not concede anything on the phone or indicate any opinion other than having your own lawyer review it.
IF her L asks about your hiring of a L, you can say you were surprised to hear she had hired him/her,
but "now that she retained you, I have to protect my interests. I'll give your name to my L...thanks. Bye"
Mediation tends to help the higher income earner, btw. (That's why my h wanted it so badly.) But it also lowers over all legal fees.
I'm a L but a nice person and this^^ is not legal advice, obviously. I'm just translating some things for you.
All is not lost, but you'd be crazy to roll over financially/legally. Do not be a jerk either, b/c that is burning bridges,
(my h has been so over the top jerky, all about money and posting "LOVE" messages to his OW openly on FB, that truly I don't think my family would allow me to take him back. Come to think of it, neither would our kids probably).
Point is, keep that in mind when you talk to her or her family. But that's not to be a doormat bc that's not going to help you either.
Hang in there and keep posting no matter what happens.
This place helps.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Sorry to hear that things are getting worse. Wish I could say that things will get better soon. But from what I hear about divorces, it can get crazier. Just know that I'm praying that things do get better. And that a better job opportunity is right around the corner.
it's as over as it'll ever be.