Bashing his w, in the harshest of terms imo, does nothing to help his m
A leopard never changes its spots. Help is marriage? Seriously?
Doesn't that go conflict with advising people to focus on themselves and work to improve themselves? That's considered change, right? Or is that a different kind of leopard?
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Bashing his w, in the harshest of terms imo, does nothing to help his m
A leopard never changes its spots. Help is marriage? Seriously?
If a leopard never changes its spots, then why are we here? It's a fundamental principle of DBing in that WE are changing, right?
Repeating that a leopard never changes its spots is like saying no one can grow.
Or no alcoholic ever recovers.
My question was How does bashing his wife help?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Why is it just the DB books and no other???? Interesting...
Maybe because this website is called divorcebusting and that is what pays the bills.
this^^^
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Geez, guys, there's just way, way too much projection going on here. I don't think we can tell someone what their spouse is feeling. (See the DB books
Please. If the marriage and/or the husband meant anything, she wouldn't be screwing someone else. Period.
Why is it just the DB books and no other???? Interesting...
Statistics and experts show that most marriages CAN recover from an A. If its a deal killer for you, then that's fine. But its also fine if you want to stick it out and fight for what you believe in. That's the purpose of DB; fighting for our M when you are the only party currently interested in saving it.
People CAN and DO change. With DB, change is not only required of the WS but also of the LBS. I would NOT still be in my M if I had also not changed. Saving the M required not only my WW to change but also for me to change.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
If you say so. The bottom line is I've always talked of becoming the best person one can be. Seems that if this was such a place of help, then any means and avenue at our disposal could be discussed without fear of repercussion. If the true nature of the site is it help, then why aren't all methods discussed?
Now, don't put words in my mouth about helping others. I've said that all along. But, also, lets not hold hands and coddle someone who lacks the spine to do what should be done.
Telling people that an affair is a mistake is wrong, period. Affairs, just like the decision to divorce, don't happen overnight. And, if the cheater had an ounce of caring for the marriage, they wouldn't do it. This living in fantasy worlds and unicorns - spreading false hope - is far more destructive than a brutal truth.
At what price to one's soul/mind/ego/confidence is it worth it to lack spine enough to stand up? If a person can accept the utter and total disrespect that an affair entails, then is it purely for selfish reasons or is it real world? Stand up or get walked over. What price?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
