Future is looking hopeful??

[PacLove]

There's a lot of info out there on MLC and I believe that is really where W is... she seems to be wanting to make efforts to improve herself and has talked about it. We seem to be in "re-connection" phase, but she could also be in replay. I'm leaning towards re-connection as she's starting to do things for us again and wanting to spend family time together.

Despite her saying A is over, and I think it probably was - I have reason to believe she may be casually seeing him again. Perhaps friends with benefits or touch-n-gos with him. I'm leaning towards ignoring it as she doesn't know I know and am guessing it's lingering but on it's downward spiral.

We have a few weekends together coming up, we haven't been physical with each other and neither of us seem to be interested (ok maybe me mildly so as it's been so long) but I know it's not the time for that.

So with all this in mind, I'm now struggling with how to act around her - continue as is "developing our friendship" again or retreat in which case she's going to wonder what's up.

[Chris73]

Hi PacLove. Glad to see you are still DBing and making progress. I can't give you advice with a lot of confidence because I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. But I think "consistency" should be your go-to mantra here. If your W is all over the place, you really can't do the same. I don't think it's good for you or your relationship. You have to be the "lighthouse" which stays in one place and offers a path back to safety. It doesn't go out and rescue, nor does it ever turn off its light. That's how I'm handling my sitch anyway and at the very least it gives me piece of mind. Stay strong!

[PacLove]

Chris

Thanks for the advice and yes that's sort of what I relized this past weekend... she could totally tell my mood was off when I first saw her, but I quickly "adjusted" and think I came out of the weekend ok.

No R talk but some future talk to which I often responded that depends on where "we" are...

I'm also starting to hold back a little on contacts. I guess I got excited when things were starting to pick up and perhaps that scared her back to her old ways.

[Tryin2figuritout]

You have to be the "lighthouse" which stays in one place and offers a path back to safety. It doesn't go out and rescue, nor does it ever turn off its light. That's how I'm handling my sitch anyway and at the very least it gives me piece of mind. Stay strong!

PacLove - Sorry your here, but you look to be hanging in there. Be well and best of luck.

Chris - Love this lighthouse analogy. The W is all over the place right now and I'm strong and steady. Trying to maintain space over any M or R talk and avoiding that. Just being a good man and a great father to my munchkins. Thanks for this.