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I appreciate the advice and support guys. Counselor today said she doesn't know if backing all the way off is the answer but there isn't really another option. I won't opt into being the scapegoat for her currently crappy life. Meeting some new people this week for activities, trying to make friends.

It's been raining here for almost 2 weeks straight now. Isn't helping


Together 7 years
Married 3
Said she was taking long way home late January
Left to get some space 2/19/17
BD 3/1/17 ILYB
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Mother in Law stopped by last night out of the blue to give me a hug and a card for graduation. She talked for 20 minutes with me about life and work. I did my best to use the opportunity to practice my listening and empathy. Got a little teary at one point.

Wednesdays are the days she has been coming back up to the area to get her mail after work and see the animals. I usually text to see if she's coming so I'm having a hard time not contacting her. Still spending too much time alone, weather has been ruining most of my plans.

Her father also called yesterday. Talked about his thinking on retiring soon and offered some advice. His talks are very calming for me as he went through a bad divorce and sees hope still. It also means a lot that he feels it's worth his time to talk to me, he feels I can make his daughter happy. I reiterated that I don't want him pressuring her.

Found out the house I'm living in is sold on the 15th of June and we have to be out by the 30th of July. This terrifies me.


Together 7 years
Married 3
Said she was taking long way home late January
Left to get some space 2/19/17
BD 3/1/17 ILYB
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 355
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I think that's great that your in-laws are talking to you. It made me feel so much better when my FIL contacted me to show care and concern.


M: 33, W: 30 @BD
M 7, T 10
BD: Early Dec
W left: Late Dec
W got stuff: Late Jan
W sent S papers: Mid Feb
OM cnfrmd: Late Feb

Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
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Wife texted today to tell me there was stuff for the animals at the store nearby for pickup. I haven't responded. I'm coming to the realization that I'm still reacting from fear of loss and not out of love. I love her, it's just hard to find the line. Not really sure how to change that.


Together 7 years
Married 3
Said she was taking long way home late January
Left to get some space 2/19/17
BD 3/1/17 ILYB
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 97
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Got a call from the father in law tonight. He talked for like 20 minutes about his first wife and how bad the marriage was and what he went through. It was his way of saying things could be worse and keep my head up.

He said they are going to Mass for dinner with her on Sunday after wife gets out of work. Said they are giving her a gift and he's kinda hoping it reminds her of the importance of family. She's been in contact with essentially nobody as far as I can tell barring a few short calls and texts.

Felt good that he's still thinking it can work out. I reiterated that I'm giving her space and don't want to pressure her. Let her live the life she thinks she wants right now and do my own thing while she does.


Together 7 years
Married 3
Said she was taking long way home late January
Left to get some space 2/19/17
BD 3/1/17 ILYB
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 97
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Together 7 years
Married 3
Said she was taking long way home late January
Left to get some space 2/19/17
BD 3/1/17 ILYB
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