Meanwhile, I found out from OW's fiancée that WH left work early and spent the afternoon with OW instead of coming home to spend it with his D on her special day. This just breaks my heart.
This breaks my heart too, for multiple reasons. First, kids should always come first. Second, but not nearly as significant, that some guy's dream of getting married is being ruined by this.
My wife's OM is married with kids, and that family is also being destroyed. Horrible.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
It's devastating for all involved, Kevin. They are selfish. All that matters is their new lives... new loves, whatever. The thing is that it's not based on reality. It's new and exciting. For a lot of them it's secretive so that adds to the excitement. It's not waking up to bedhead and morning breath. It's not worrying about changing diapers, taking out the garbage or paying bills. Real life challenges aren't part of this world and therefore all is perfect.
Logically I understand the desire to be happy and the excitement of a new relationship. What I will never understand is how they can justify their treatment of the children.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
Keep in mind that your WH is in poor mental health (based on what you've said here). We can't expect such people to make reasonable and wise choices. Marriages are hard enough without those kinds of issues... but with them....
This doesn't change anything for you, but it might take a bit off your frustration.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Your strength is amazing. I would definitely document your WH's behavior and continue to write down this kind of actions. Judges frown tremendously when hearing about parents choosing a piece of @ss over their children's stability. A friend of mine got sole custody in a mother favored state because of his meticulous documentation of her various affairs. Every time she was late or cancelled her parenting time he recorded it, bonus if she was spending time with her OM.In the end the mother lost all her rights. He went on to marry a wonderful woman and they raised him to be a very healthy and happy boy.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
Gump, his mental issues absolutely played heavily in the destruction of my marriage, but I'm not giving him a pass for that. He's a grown adult and even being bipolar knows right from wrong. He hasn't been in mania for several weeks now. What he's doing now is just him being him.
Thank you for the kind words, Sara. I am documenting everything. I'm hoping this goes as amicably as possible, but there are no guarantees.
My MIL texted my out of the blue last night. Just wanted to say she was so proud of me, not waiting 46 years to get out of oppression like she did. It's too bad these men didn't appreciate what they had. Then sent a picture of her and her bf saying there is life after a (our last name). This woman has a knack for making me cry.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
My MIL texted my out of the blue last night. Just wanted to say she was so proud of me, not waiting 46 years to get out of oppression like she did. It's too bad these men didn't appreciate what they had. Then sent a picture of her and her bf saying there is life after a (our last name). This woman has a knack for making me cry.
Wow. Just wow.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I had to laugh. Jeep calls me Chewie from Star Wars and now Gump is calling me James Bond. I guess I'm a giant hairy secret agent. Lol.. sometimes it's the little things that help take the edge off my day. So thank you both.
Something I don't mention much of here is my R with my older daughter. We have always had a difficult R where as she has almost always gotten along well with her father. Based on things she's said to me, it's very clear he talks about our D with her since she repeats his twisted version of things.
She has such animosity for me and her 2 siblings that when H stated he was going to take her with him, I agreed. But I've watched him make bad decision after bad decision with her these last couple of weeks and now I'm torn. For the welfare of my other children, it is best that she go with her father. Yes, it really is that bad. But I'm not sure it's in HER best interest. I don't know what to do.
Tonight H asked me about the papers he received because they state I want custody of all 3. I told him my concerns. Such a draining conversation. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted.
So let's add a text I get from an old friend just minutes after talking to H. It's a screen shot of our state website showing my D filing. It kind of hit me sideways. It's becoming reality
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
She has such animosity for me and her 2 siblings that when H stated he was going to take her with him, I agreed. But I've watched him make bad decision after bad decision with her these last couple of weeks and now I'm torn. For the welfare of my other children, it is best that she go with her father. Yes, it really is that bad. But I'm not sure it's in HER best interest. I don't know what to do.
Get her into counseling, first. It does seem like he has twisted things in her mind. If so, that would take a lot of unraveling. The only other reason is that maybe she saw things that led her to come to that conclusion. Either way, she needs counseling.
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So let's add a text I get from an old friend just minutes after talking to H. It's a screen shot of our state website showing my D filing. It kind of hit me sideways. It's becoming reality
Yep. As the time gets closer, things will get crazier.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
