Hi! Helies' advice is very insightful! I also feel better when i know he won't be at home because I organize things only according to me! I guess it because I haven't detached so much...
Good morning Helies and Marye - thank you for your responses. I appreciate the sharing of your experiences. I know when my H is gone, working late, or God knows where, I do like it better. I feel more free.
Helies, I read your post on LALost's thread about control. I don't think I ever truly had insight as to why I felt the need to have control over the situation, but when I read your response a light went off. I grew up in an abusive household as well and having a sense of control/mindreading allowed me to feel some level of stability. I felt like I could predict/avoid the chaos.
I see my need for that now and I see how it has come about. Now if I could just learn to let it go completely. Lol!
I am feeling very melancholy today. In my mind I am trying to figure things out. I keep searching for answers that will likely never come. I hate that.
I personally think melancholy is good. It is better than fence sitting. I think it means you are processing and trying to get somewhere. I am melancholy too. I think I'm done with the old marriage and the H who was part of making my life a living hell for the last 7 years (me of course being the other integral part).
I wanted to mind read last night about why he didn't respond to my text. Why he texted D instead letting her know he had received my text. Why he waited until this morning to actually "read" my text. But nope. Guess what. Don't know and don't care. Whatever I come up with is probably wrong anyway.
Instead, this was my walk away, given that he still can't behave like a "normal" person, as in read my text right away (since his phone is glued to his hand 24/7) and actually answer me, he definitely is having some feeling about me (I don't know what it is), but I will take it.
Do something wonderful today for yourself. One thing. Something you never do. Honor your strength and your struggle. Reward your hard work. I haven't decided what mine will be, but it will be something.
Last edited by job; 03/24/1712:23 PM. Reason: Added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
