Had a breakdown the other day and went off on my W for the way she's been treating my kids, actually, for the way she's been neglecting my kids. I got all the way in the argument enough to tell her I was hoping she could see her way clear to letting me take the kids back home with me. She didn't argue much about it. She kind of agrees that it would be a soulution. She obviously still has the MLC mindset of "this is never gonna work between us" and I told her I need to know if taking the kids with me was an option. She says she just needs to hear my plan as I have a lot of obstacles ahead of me.
Home.....as in Texas ??
Originally Posted By: Alaska8
But since I last spoke with you guys I've made a ton of progress! Taxes: turns out I'm only gonna owe like $2000 for the past years I haven't filed! I can get this taken care of quick! Credit: I hadn't had a bank account in about 17 years. I wasn't reporting any Either though. But I thought I was gonna have a couple of judgements On my credit but they're gone! Actually I don't even have a credit score! So my buddy, who is a Mortgage Broker/Tax Preparer is working on This for me. He told me he can have my credit up to 620 in a matter of A couple months! School: I wanna go back to school and I called my last institution to see how Much I owe to get them to give me transcripts. I thought it was gonna Be around 4K, turns out it's Ben so long they wrote off most of it. I Only owe $650. Bank: I recently opened a bank account. Started a secured Visa card to start Establishing credit. And I already have a little savings going. Back home, I have a job waiting for me and a place to stay while I get my ducks in a row. It surprised her that I had done all this and had been planning it out. Hope for the best prepare for the worst. She left out of town right after we had this convo, when she came back she told me, " I don't think I can let you take my babies..when will I get them back? When will I see them?" I said," I thought you said we were gonna leave it up to them?" After a moment she agreed that we would but that we needed to discuss what was gonna be said. She's worried they will hate her (selfish). We will have this convo with them soon, but I'm not ready to leave just yet. I need to save money, pay off these bills and let my credit improve. She knows this and even has plans for all of us to take a trip together.. I'm resilient in my goals and my outlook on this whole thing. I can't see her attitude towards us improving while I'm still here. She gets to do whatever she wants while I'm at home babysitting and doing all the household stuff and attending to the kids. And I'd be lying if I said I don't feel anxious when she travels and goes out. It's human nature. Actually if she wasn't hurting the kids so much with her actions and absence I think I might be able to overcome her lifestyle. But my kids are my life and I can't abide her actions anymore. My kids, especially my S15, has had enough. Anyhow, that's what's been going on here lately. I have not shed one tear. I keep my mind off her as much as possible and I'm just planning. Hopefully she'll live up to her word and let the kids decide (which I think she most definitely will since she can't be here for them whatsoever now) They will 100% decide to come me with me. About to head to the gym (down to 245 now) She comes back Friday. I'll let y'all know what happens. Thanks for reading.. AK8
Sounds like you have had some really positive things happening...
So, is it just a Papa Bear thing with the kids ??
Or is what she is doing really causing them considerable harm ???
It was told to me like this...
It isn't your job to facilitate the relationship with them, it is your job to NOT damage the relationship with them...
And just because you are taking care of YOUR issues, shouldn't mean that you try to fix all of HER crap too...
That is part of the MLC thing for her, is finding her own way through life without someone holding her hand.
Try to back away from suggestions and judgments with her....
