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Hi Cheesy,

I just wanted to say hello and it's good to see you! I start to miss posters and then when they pop in, it's so nice to see them.

I think you are doing great. C-nut is right; you are happy and you are on your way, that is what counts. I don't even know what 100% means because how can you even put a number on it?

When a loved one dies, the grieving process can take a long time and be up/down, however over time the pain and sadness does decline. Most of it depends on how attached we were to that person, and also how we as the individual can cope with loss. All factors vary between people. A D is maybe more hard to analyze because the person is not dead--they are very real and we still have interactions with them. That can reignite hurt and confusion.

I think your success lies in your motivation to have success; you want to heal and move forward. If you want this, then over time you will make this new and better life for yourself. You say you are happier than before. I envy that so much Cheesy, I really do. ... The sadness may always come and go, but it never has to stop you from living on. You got this!

Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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Andrew - you're right she's just someone I used to know. But how do I let go of that piece you pointed out?

Another- thank you it's nice to hear words of encouragement. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm where I need to be emotionally with my wife, but I'm getting there. And I guess half the battle if not most, is that I feel like I'm right where I need to be in all other aspects of my life.

Coconut -wow. "don't make 100% the only destination that matters, live the journey" I actually wrote that on a sticker and put it on my work monitor. I can't tell you how great those words are. I will continue to tell myself every day. And yes, I miss something and I can't quiere put my finger on it, sometimes I think it's my wife other times I'm like "something" interestingly enough I don't look back with anger, more of regret? Guilt? That I wasn't this amazing cheesy back when that's all my wife wanted.

Blue! So nice to hear for you. I will work on not putting a number on it, and like coconut said, I'll try not to make 100% the destination. I agree, I read somewhere that divorce is harder than death for that reason that you know they're there. I guess I still can't believe my wife never wanted me back. Very apart from would I take her back, never got the chance to make that choice. I do want to move on and get over this, but I'm inpatient. I guess I just have to keep working at it till one day w is just a distant memory. Thank you. I'm struggling today and yesterday and idk just feeling overly emotional and I am really hard on myself. I feel like I'm not allowed to be emotional cus it's been forever (haha feels like it) and I am mostly ok, hate the downs. But I know they are part of the process. Thank you again. Love hearing from you all!

Headed home for the long weekend.

-sleepy & crabby, need to sleep it off.


Me(W): 29 EXW: 30
T: 6 M: 2
SD: 10
BD: 04/2016
PS: 04/2016
W officially "seeing" someone 09/2016
W filed 03/2017
Officially Divorced 11/2017
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 703
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Cheesy! I think where you are is normal. AP is right, in that the reminders are what hurts. It's the reminders of how our ex's were, not how they are now. I get that longing feeling you have at times, but as soon as I remember just how horrible my STBX is being to me it helps me snap out of it (in addition to your reminders! wink )

Cheesy, view the sadness as something to remind you of your strength. To remind you of the awesome person you've become. You continue to become a more kick a$$ person every day my friend! I'd say that your W is a complete moron for leaving you, but I believe we established that a long, long time ago!!!

Keep being you and that missing feeling, I suspect, will just fade away.


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
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Posts: 443
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quick update,
my L sent settlement over to W earlier today and I put my two weeks in at my current job. I feel like there's a light at the end of my tunnel, I can move states without ANYTHING holding me back. the past year + have been one hell of a ride. I'm excited for my future, to be closer to family and my nieces, I look forward to finding a new job. and purchasing my first home. I'm Just excited.

now to hoping I can find a great fitting job, and that this D goes smoothly and quickly as I am more than ready to not think of her ever again.

life's looking good!!!!


Me(W): 29 EXW: 30
T: 6 M: 2
SD: 10
BD: 04/2016
PS: 04/2016
W officially "seeing" someone 09/2016
W filed 03/2017
Officially Divorced 11/2017
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 703
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Cheesy = Awesome!!! wink


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
Joined: Nov 2016
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Cheesyt,

I haven't been on in a while and was just checking in. Sounds like you're doing better overall and that's wonderful that you have some things to look forward to. I hope you continue towards peace and happiness.


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
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Me(W): 29 EXW: 30
T: 6 M: 2
SD: 10
BD: 04/2016
PS: 04/2016
W officially "seeing" someone 09/2016
W filed 03/2017
Officially Divorced 11/2017
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