Walked away due to financial infidelity

[Origina]

I want the coaching by telephone but I simply can't afford it right now

[Origina]

I forgot to mention a key point after argue then reconcile last Sunday
He said he needs the loan paying off and he thinks he needs it paying off before he can think clearly about us
(He is very like that- emotional stuff is very difficult for him to juggle more than one thing)
I've said i understand that
I said that a magic wand d won't make everything better in August when the loan is paid off because it's a trust issue problem and it make take ages to work on
He said he understood
We agreed that if everything else wasn't great about us there'd be no point in even trying
I said I'd rather do bits to work on us leading up til August so that we're not treading water
(I think he's scared to fall head over heels in love with me in case I don't pay the loan off to be honest
(because hes scared he'll forgive me the world then)
(he's loving towards me and loves me but he's defensive)

Ive had a mini epiphany- he's scared to love me in case I hurt him again - I'm crying I feel bad and I need to stop thinking from my hurt perspective all the time xx
Jeez I'm hard work

[Origina]

He's returned home after a night out on time and as he said.

[Origina]

I'm stressing over the fact he isn't telling very many people he's trying to work things out with me
The only people he tells are the unavoidable ones (well except for one)

He occasionally tells his mum if she asks

He avoids telling people by skirting around the subject/ changing subject rather than outright lying

He has told the friend he was with when we first met that we were tryjng and recently he's told him we were getting on better

I'm impatient - I know this I'm working on it

He says he's embarrassed after what we've been through to tell people because they wouldn't understand
And once when he thought I was telling him to start telling people (about a month ago) he said he'd rather have Called it off (our trying to sort stuff out) than tell people
These people are his sister and his work colleagues
His sister is a self obsessed idiot who has her own problems but anyway

My big bugbear is work colleagues because of theb21yr old admin
I think he does fancy her but knows it would be a bad move because she's old enough to be his kid/ he sees relationships as long term and she'll eventually want kids and he's infertile (hisbtwins are donor sperm)
But also if he keeps the pretence up won't it be harder to break it?

What should I do about it?
Leave him too it until he feels ready to tell people??