At some point we are left with a decision ourselves.
I feel like each day she and I remain separated, a small part of my heart dies.
That accumulates. Makes me wonder if one day I will wake up and have no feelings left for her.
I'm not sure if it does... TBH I thought I had accepted either outcome, was ready to move on and had very little feelings left for W. Now that she's turning around, it's amazing how quickly those feelings rush back. It's a big part of our lives - you can take some solitude in knowing that she's likely experiencing the same feelings, just not able to talk to you about it.
Last edited by Cadet; 01/11/1701:54 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
Had my first DB coaching session yesterday. She (the coach) definitely advised a softer, warmer approach than the anti-cake-eating, tough love approach we hear in the forum.
Yes, that's what my coach said, too. That's what I'm doing, as well.
Originally Posted By: ForGump
Her philosophy is that a solid friendship is the foundation of a good marriage.
Again, that's what mine said. I agree, kindness and friendship (like being a gracious host to a houseguest) is the approach that my coach recommended. It makes sense, even if it runs counter to the concept of "you don't want to be in the friend zone".[/quote]
I'm glad you got the professional advice from the coach for your specific situation. If you do the next session, I believe you'll do an exercise in putting yourself in your W's shoes; an exercise in empathy. It may also help in how you interact with your wife. Though I was already aware of my own culpabilities in the demise of my marriage, the exercises helped me to further take perspective. It's hard, but the coaching has been helpful, I think.
