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Originally Posted By: Lex23
I was reflecting today on my journey so far. I think I have gone through the stages of grief and am nearing the last stage. I was definitely in denial for a few months. First total denial that anything was going wrong, then partial denial when I was thinking that things could be repaired quickly. Then I remember being angry for a few weeks. I moved through that quickly. I have never been able to hold onto anger for long. Then I remember bargaining as lasting 4 or 5 months. That was when I was trying to "fix" the situation by talking to W and doing things for her. Definitely wasted some time and did some damage during this time. I am hard headed this way, but I never begged, so that is good. I think I can fix things that are unfixable. It was when I realized that this was impossible that I started searching the internet for what I did not know. I found this forum then. It was a big help but it caused me to move into depression. I had some of the lowest days I have ever known. This might sound foolish but I actually didn't know a person could be that sad. It really surprised me. I really turned in on myself for a few more months. I reflected on how it would be possible to be even sadder (death of a child for example) and this made me cringe. I hope I never experience that. Yesterday, something clicked in me. I'm kind of thinking today that I really have lost my wife. Just because she is physically here does not mean that we have a connection. I am happy that we are still together for the kids sake. I don't know if I will fall backwards into depression again but today I only feel a kind of low level melancholy. I have a real "come what may" feeling. I hope that my W comes around but I guess I will have to accept whatever happens.

Not sure why I am writing this. I think maybe it will be good to come and read it later. Especially if I start to get depressed again.


This is good self-observation.
Just know that likely, you will cycle back to the other stages as your situation proceeds. It's natural and OK.

Every day is not going to be linear progress forward.

Keep your eyes on your goals, and youll be good.

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The cycle will continue. The old saying one step forward and two steps back.

Over time it will get better and better!!


Last edited by Cadet; 12/13/16 08:29 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
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Quote:
wife talked about future plans with me about vacating next summer and a few other things. feels so weird to me she won't acknowledge our marriage but still talks about future plans almost a year away.


See anything there ^^^^ that is cake for her? A WW can be so entitled that she believes she should continue in taking part in all the family events.....even if she is no longer with her H. crazy


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Me-70, D37,S36
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