At that moment I thought, why not enjoy making this place my own. I have never had to do any decorating. I always left that to my W. Doing my house the way I want it is going to be a great GAL activity for me.
BillyHo,
That's exactly what happened to me. I've been working on my house, mostly the exterior, since late spring. I built wood shutters and carriage doors and did some painting and other things. The neighbors have been raving about the changes to the house. It's been a wonderful way to spend my time and add value to the house as well.
My wife took all of the bedroom furniture so my first project was to build a bed. I saw some cedar fence posts at Lowe's so I decided to build a cedar bed using cedar fence posts and cedar 1x12 boards. It's an awesome one-of-a-kind bed. It was also symbolic for me; I could rebuild my life and I'd be just fine.
And, I've become artsy-fartsy. You should checkout Hobby Lobby if you have one in your area.
I try not think about it in terms of how long will I put up with this. I try my best not to look too far ahead. One day at a time is how I'm trying to see things. If I look back even a month ago my W and I went almost 2 months without any real conversation. Now we can communicate openly and honestly. Sure she's moving out but it's not the end of the world. I love her and my family enough that I know I am nowhere close to giving up. After all what is 7 months compared to 23yrs of being together. If we don't end up together I will be able to look in the mirror and be content with the fact that I did everything I could to save my M. Her decision is hers alone. I am willing to give her the time and space she needs to make that decision without any pressure from me.
When this started I read people saying that W is giving me the gift of time. Back then I thought what a crock, I want my wife back now! I can now step back and see that they are totally right. I have addressed things from my childhood that had shaped the person I was in adulthood in a negative way. Had this sitch not happened I would have continued the same behaviors that I am fixing today. I truly believe things happen for a reason. Whatever the reason I am ready to accept it and look forward to waking up tomorrow and doing it all over again.
My vows say for better or worse. The better is easy but the "worse" is the true measure of us all.
Me:42 W:37 M:18 T:23 3S: 4,7,10 EA 6/16 ILYBNILWY 7/16 9/16 separate BR 10/16 Discernment Counseling She's moving out 1/17
Thanks for checking in Doodler. My FIL and I have totally renovated just about everything in my house over the last 10yrs. We have knocked down walls, rebuilt 2 bathrooms, new kitchen, tile in kitchen, bathrooms and basement bar area, finished the basement for my man cave and built a giant play house and swing set for the boys. I think I am going to try to lay some brick to build out my fireplace with a old barn wood beam for my mantel. This spring I'm going to build a deck and patio that lead to my 8 person hot tub. Just bought my new couch and side chair and ottoman for my living room today.
I would love to see some pictures of the work you have done. The bed sounds awesome.
Me:42 W:37 M:18 T:23 3S: 4,7,10 EA 6/16 ILYBNILWY 7/16 9/16 separate BR 10/16 Discernment Counseling She's moving out 1/17
Your post is inspiring. Thank you. For better or for worse.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
