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Quote:
You go high, Eric..I go low....hee hee.

Deal UR…deal.

Ginger
Maybe you need to stop wondering if “he is the one” and just go on the date and see how it goes. One day at a time.

Quote:
One more piece of advice I'm looking for because I am so messed up in the head: ex comes to trick or treat with us and D9's friends. His wife never comes. Because I never wanted it. Not that I want it now, but do I invite her or just say yes if ex asks?

You set the boundary it appears – then IMO, you are the one to remove it. IMO, IF you really do not mind her being around, then I would let ex know that – at that point it is his call.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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So we already know I'm no dating expert - that's clear. However since we also know you and I are a lot alike, let me pass some advice that has been given to me and seems to make sense. A four hour conversation before even meeting? The typical advice here is usually to save these things until you meet. In fact, what will you talk about if you do all the first date talk on the phone? I Know sometimes time gets away and all of a sudden it's like, wow we've been talking for X hours. That, though is usually when things are clicking so well - not when your not getting those strong early vibes.

Second is, you may be getting colored by these early things and then never giving the person a fair shot. I sort of. Dud that a month or two ago with someone who in balance seemed worth at least one date yet I talked myself out of it based on some early comments she made on the phone.

I get it, it's really hard. You are hoping so much for some level of success that you want to move things along. I'd just suggest cutting Amy pre first date conversations to an hour or less. Set a timer if you need to. You may feel totally different about things he's saying when in person and you have all of the non verbal communications as well.


DonH
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Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Listen to DonH...I kind of cringed when I read four hours lol. Just go and have fun...forget whether he's the one or not. He's just a guy...who can talk on the phone for four hours...that's a rare find, right there lol.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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Wii, I'm beginning to deal like everyone cheats. Obviously I know that's not true, but it feels like it and makes me sad and wondering if I would have come to the point of doing the same thing! That thought freaks me out. My cousin never thought she would. I don't think I would but it seems like 80% of the population is unhappy and cheating.

Eric- I'm going on the date. I don't even believe in "the one" anymore. Or I believe that we don't always get to be with our "one" there are two people close to me who think they met their love , are addicted to them but they can't/shouldn't be with them and can't let go and co time on knowing it isn't going to end well. Not to toot my own horn. But I do realize how strong I was to let go of a similar situation. Even if I'm sad a lot and I think it's it's weakness right now I'm possessing yet another strength I didn't know I had.

Ex got out early and is doing his own thing with her and I'm then I'm doing my own thing. It's a win win!!!!!!!

DOn- I agree with you 100%. I kept trying to get off the phone but the dude can talk! It's awkward now because he will "flirt" with me and we haven't even met. I have this awful feeling if he likes me in person he's going to try to get some action. I just don't want to even deal with that. He keeps saying I " seem older" yes, I am an old soul who has been through the gamut and I'm not a needy little entitled woman who can handle her own sh!t. He's never dealt with that before.

I just want this weekend to come already. I NEED it!!!

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I think what you are sensing is that this guy is way too over involved for someone who hasn't yet met you. You could be right. If he asks for sex on a coffee date then he's made your decision easy for you lol. Hey, if he starts making you uncomfortable in the next few days, cancel. You have the right to change your mind.


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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Ginger

You say whatever it is you want to happen. You probably can't stop her from coming along if she wishes to the first time, although you can request she doesn't. Or you could go full on scarey and frighten her away in your Halloween stuff, where did you put that Freddie outfit?

She is a fact and exists in your life.

What do you want to achive?

What would you like in a year, five years, ten years and at your great grandchild first birthday?

See you soon.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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