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btrfly3 #2706572 09/26/16 11:19 AM
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Hello btrfly3,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

It is going to sound like an echo around here. Getting a lawyer is really important to learn your rights and protect yourself financially.

Be kind to yourself and set realistic goals. Is being free of hate by the end of the week realistic? You may want to consult with your doctor regarding if AD are a good fit for you.

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Cristy #2706584 09/26/16 12:23 PM
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What I found helpful, was setting a challenge for myself in an area unrelated to the marriage. When my husband had his affair second affair in the middle of our marriage, I trained to climb Mt. Whitney. When he left at the end of our marriage, I took up playing the drums (now I spent the last 6 years playing in a punk rock cover band - not bad for a woman in her 50's!).

I found that having something to focus my energies on kept me from being all about my marriage 24/7.

kml #2706695 09/27/16 02:59 AM
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echoing everyone else's comments. it's very hard to turn off that "taking care of" switch but the analogy of the plane going down worked for me: when a plane is going down we need to put the oxygen masks on ourselves first, not those we love.

Priority #1 needs to be getting a lawyer .. interview a few, make sure you are comfortable with your choice. There are a lot of parasites out there looking to foment even more discontent to pad their fee.

Breathe. That's all you have to do today is find a lawyer and breathe. Break it into the smallest chunks of time for yourself.

Good luck, keep reading and posting.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
bttrfly #2711916 10/24/16 07:58 AM
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Yes small steps are huge. Self care is critical. This is a marathon and you are depleted so focus on yourself and your needs in an intentional way.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



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