Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Ok, so based on DB, in what positive ways have you changed that are specifically done to increase positive interactions with the W? I mean you have to set up micro-goals, eg. we will have a nice conversation for at least 10 minutes, I will try to make that happen by...
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
The positive ways I have changed are no longer drinking, Not controlling her. I don't ask what she is doing or what plans are. ( we have been S for 6 months) I trust her that she is not in a A. I spend good quality time with D's. They even said that I'm happier now. I have been teaching my daughter how to drive. She said she is so happy to see me when we meet. I got ILY from D text first in years. I have lost 40 lbs. I'm active cycling gym and joined a floor hockey league. Which my wife has told me for years to go out and make some new friends. I don't initiate any type of contact or communication with her. She said that she wants time for her self. At the beginning of S. I never pressured her or tried to manipulate. When we meet she was angry with me. She has asked for help around house and I have been there for her. This morning out of the blue she sent me a text. Said she saw a big Buck. I'm a hunter. I only get text from her. I don't want to push myself on her so I wait for her to start any type of communication. She asked if I could do something for her at house 2 weeks ago. I went over was nice never said much talked about hockey. We laughed a little and she had to go to work. From the start of S She always said that she wants time but no divorce. She never seems to want to talk about situation, or to maybe go on a date. I'm not sure if I should ask. She says she is always busy
Her car was in shop. I offered to drive her to pick up the vehicle. We drove for half hour to get it. Conversation was great. Talked about work. Her sports and what she has been up to. When we arrived I asked if she would like to go for a coffee when she had some free time or maybe a movie. She said now that her foot injury was getting better we could get out on motorbikes. I was abusive by controlling. Not yelling at her. When I went to the house I complimented for how well she had done the landscaping. I saw her pics of the woman's mud run she did for Cancer research. Told her looks like you had fun and happy for you. I offered to help close pool when she plans on doing it. I have always gone to house when there was something needed to be done. With out hesitation or frustration
