So yesterday over text W asked to see the drafts of divorce papers even though I told her that there were a bunch of adjustments that needed to be made. She still wanted to see. Immediately after looking she starts flipping out about paying child support, etc - even though it said she didn't have to pay she didn't read it right and then was complaining about a bunch of other stuff in the papers. I had CLEARLY told her that they were not the final papers. Such an idiot.
Then I mentioned that this OM has a domestic battery arrest from January, which she already knew about and immediately fired back that it was thrown out in court and I didn't know the story, etc. I told her I didn't want the kids around him and that I would put it in the agreement if necessary. To that she said she wouldn't sign the agreement if it was in there. Funny how this guy is "just a friend" to her, yet she is willing to back out on her end just because I don't want her bringing him around my kids. She also called me controlling and manipulative because of all that. I'm sorry, but I don't care if she dates Charlie Manson at this point. But if the kids are involved, I have EVERY RIGHT to be concerned and state my demands at that point.
She continues to display her inconsistent unstable behaviors in the form of one minute saying she is sorry for hurting me and all of this mess and glad we were together because "we got the kids out of it" but then five minutes later tells my that I am the biggest mistake she has ever made and that I am evil and controlling.
She continues to threaten me with having the courts decide and "this is a 50/50 state and I will get half of everything". Not sure what she is trying to threaten me for since we already have agreed on all the terms of the divorce and are just waiting on the paperwork to be ready for signing.
After all of that yesterday during the day while I was at work, she came to get the kids around 830 and demanded to have a discussion. I told her I was not going to have a discussion with her and did not engage. She escalated her behaviors and started hurling insults and threats while I got the kids buckled into their car seats. I recorded the whole thing. At the end she said she wasn't signing anything and that I was going to have to take her to court.
Fast forward to about 20 minutes later, I rode my quad over to her brother's house and walked in where he was on the phone with her. He was laying into her pretty good about having the other guy over while kids were visiting, defending me for being concerned about the OM and his background, etc. Once he got off the phone, both him and his wife were just talking about how they have never seen her act like this before and she is just being totally insane.
Apparently my son was wailing for me all the way back to her place too - which now makes her think that I am putting things in his head. Not at all. I just actually pay attention to him and spend QUALITY time with him and his sister instead of sticking them on their iPads and sitting on my own electronics. That has been what she does for the past year at least.
Before going home last night, I sent an email showing her all the changes I requested in the papers and told her she needed to calm down and honor her own freakin request for this to go smoothly. She said she felt attacked when I mentioned the OM domestic battery charge and that is why she got angry. So she got angry because I stated the truth? Because I was exercising my right as a parent to be concerned about the company kept around my kids? She then said she actually WOULD sign.
Well I did a full background check and nothing came up. I am guessing it was thrown out in court. But SOMETHING had to have happened for him to get arrested for it...
Well....W signed the divorce papers this morning. I will go in to sign on Monday morning. I feel a sense of relief at this point. I can always pursue more custody later on down the line if I feel it is in the kids' best interest.
My mom said I should celebrate (getting primary physical custody of the kids) and while I am happy about that, not much to celebrate in terms of why it all had to happen.
Again, I know that the philosophy here is to focus on yourself, etc. I will do that for sure. But that doesn't change the fact that my soon to be EX WIFE has some very serious psychological and emotional issues that I honestly believe she will never figure out or at least want to admit. It makes me really sad for her and sad for my kids, because she will never be any sort of stability in their lives. I feel like she is going to just continue the same pattern.
