Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 604
C
CT1118 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 604
Originally Posted By: ericmsant2

One quick question if I may….what nationality are you? Just wondering. I am Puerto Rican myself.


Ericmsant2 - you may. United States. I am first gen American on my mother's side, she is from Germany. My father is a bit of a mutt blood from the southern US.
Mi espousa es medio Cubana, asi yo comprendo un poco Espaniol mi amigo. That's is most likely not correct, but I never got faulted for trying. My German is better than my Spanish.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
Please start a new thread.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,687
Likes: 236
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,687
Likes: 236
Fresh start ?

I wasn't aware that we needed one yet....

I'm not against you in any way. If I were against you, you wouldn't see any of my posts at all on your thread.

I ask about control, because I see it...

I ask about being misunderstood, because I see your defensiveness...

I ask about these things because they typically generate an emotional response if you feel like you are being attacked...

Your relationship with your spouse, is primarily emotional, or at least it should be...

Emotional responses tend to be more of a reaction, rather than a deliberate action.

And that is what most people tend to give to their spouse during the heat of battle....


Control ?

What I see, is that you very much have to feel in control of most things.

In my posts to you, not only did you try to answer my questions, you also told me in what context I was asking, and what the answer would be in each of those. To the extent that you were also telling me how to ask the question. So essentially, you were taking control of the question AND the response...and eventually, the outcome..

By your above definition...that is control..



In your response to Wonka about the 5LL book, you did a very similar task, in which you broke down the author, explained how you felt, came back again, and in my opinion, told her how she should feel about the author, before you closed by minimizing the impact that the book has on this community.


As far as the book ?


Don't stand on that hill too long. It is the context of the book, not the entire content to which we speak.

Knowing your love languages, how you give, how you receive, simply allows YOU to grow...



You admit to being controlling, and you admit to not always recognizing it when it happens...

For now though ? Its a moot point....

What sends the red flags to me, is the defensiveness in which much of that ^^^ occurs....

You seem to think that I am lashing out and attacking you, hence the fresh start offer.

Believe it or not, I am not really here to be a friend. Maybe that will, or maybe it will not happen down the road. I am here to help you see yourself more clearly than you have in the past. YOU asked for help, and I am only giving you feedback according to the information that you have given.

I'm in your corner...

So your choice, we can go further with this...or we agree to disagree about it...

Personally ? I would love to see you walk through this without the pretense of you feeling attacked...

So if you choose....

Maybe think about this for a while....

And then go back and read your responses to me.....see if maybe you see something different this time ....

So, maybe if we are starting fresh...

Why do you feel the need to be in control ???

How important is it to you, to be right ?

Is your opinion more important to you, than opening up and accepting that others have opinions too ?

I remember a tagline that poster had here a while ago, and I am certain that I will misquote it....

A beginner scorns..

A Novice will accept...

The Master says, but of course....



Something else that I see a bit of..

I see you trying to give the perfect answer to each question. I am not looking for that at all. The perfect answer doesn't let me see who you are at all....

And maybe that is a small part that comes across to me as control. And while you may not be trying to control the question, or answer, or direction the thread is taking....

It is the outcome that you seem to be trying to control...




Originally Posted By: CT1118
Originally Posted By: Mach1

The interpretation is the responsibility of the reader, not the writer....

Personal opinion, its on both.



Maybe it is both....

Maybe I can ask Mr Twain to come back and rewrite Huck Finn, so that it's true meaning can be digested by all, instead of the minority that seem to "get" his sarcasm....????






Originally Posted By: CT

Originally Posted By: Mach1
Originally Posted By: CT

There's a guy MHL who I think was also named Missherlove at some point? Anyway he made some really great reference points in his story to accompany what all of you has said about time and what it does. There was another one (I clicked off it and now trying to find it again)by a guy named Fisherman or Fishing-something?


What do you want to know ???


The question marks were rhetorical in the statement, so there was no true question. Just to shorten "I just read these really honest stories and hope I am not insulting as I am not remembering their names right". And I am learning from those old threads, but the ones before the 100 comment cap are very challenging to navigate in chronological order.


Fresh start [hand extended].



I asked because I am friends with both outside of here. I talk to Fish once a week or so...

Eric ( the freakin Rican BTW) may be in more contact with MHL than I...

However I could find out any questions you may have for him...

Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard