So following up on finance and divorce talk of last week.
We have separated our car insurance and cell phone plan. The wife has taking steps to refinance her car for the loan is only in here name. We are having our paychecks deposited in our individual accounts. The joint account will be funded each month with an agreed upon $$ and account will only be used to pay mortgage, lights and water.
The wife has started the divorce paperwork. She has decided not to hire a lawyer and will do a "DYI, Home-Brew." I shall wait for the papers to be served.
So we are about 3 months post bomb drop. I have not posted in about a month.
Durn this time, I was out of town for 5 days and had a PA. When I got back to town it continued as an EA. I know what I did and am doing is wrong, I guess it gives me some comfort. Due to the distance I will probably not be able to see the person in the near future. My wife hacked into one of my email accounts and saw the communication and pictures of us. My wife still wont admit her affair but now takes great pleasure that she can now say she is the victim. I think it hurt her.
This has accelerated the divorce process. We have been working on a uncontested divorce. The divorce talks have been heated at times but we are 99% complete and ready to file. The house is also on the market and forsale. We arrange our schedules for we don't; see each other much. We each try to stay out of the house while the other is home. My wife goes out and stays out all night at least once a week. I don't; ask or care where she goes.
Durn the last three months I really don't recognize my wife, both physically and emotionally. At one point I thought there was a small chance she was on drugs.
My friends have told me to accept the facts that my marriage is over. At times I;m looking for to my new life after divorce. I told my IC to stop saving my marriage and just guide me thru the divorce process.
I;ve been spending a lot of one on one time with my daughter. Going to parks, water parks, movies, libraries, malls and movie theaters. Its been great. I'm learning how to cook more for I can feed my daughter good meals post divorce.
There is still a part of me hoping she calls off the divorce. The other day I thought I got a glimpse of my old wife. She has reconnected with an old friend that was a positive influence on her throughout our marriage.
I was served with divorce papers on Halloween day. Since I live in a "public records" state. I easily looked up "Mr. Wonderful" He and his wife filed the same week. My wife still wont admit there's an affair, but i've stopped asking. I started looking for an apartment.
Just to close out the thread. My marriage ended in Divorce. May never know the answers and thats Ok. Was it a MLC or WW or was she just BPD..Sure I can share in the blame.
Hindsight 20/20...I was ill prepared for D-day. Me stumbling into the EA evidence, I could of sat on it for awhile to come up with a plan. I think there was an opportunity to save the marriage but that was a small window of 1 week post d-day.
