Hi, I'm sure others will have a lot to say about your convo, but I'm first (sans doughnuts). I really feel like you said all the right things and stood your ground in the right way, and also in a very fair way. You have a great team here supporting you!
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
You did great! We are all having the same conversations with our WAS's at some point. I am happy to hear you kept your cool and are not helping her with the D.
You were firm and confident! That drives them insane and into the tirade, oh well, that is their circus!
Keep up the good work!
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
A couple things I forgot and remembered this morning. W said she just wants to know when she will be better. I looked her in the eye and said, "W I don't know when you will be better". W responded back after a few seconds with "when I'm not married to you anymore". For her, I hope that's the case, but my suspicion is its not.
W also said that she's not doing this for herself. This came out when she was telling me I'm selfish for forcing D to live with me. She said she's purely doing this for D so D doesn't have to suffer through what she has and W is making an example for ad so she sees she doesnt have to put up with crap.
CT, yeah, it felt like a battle, but was different from previous conversations. Unsure how to explain it but I felt a lot more in control. Didn't get dragged into some of the muck I'd let her pull me into in the past. Kept emotion mainly out of it. I didn't bring up the option of punting the house bc I'm not really ready to lose time with my D. If forced to then I would, but unsure I want to offer that option yet. It would need to wait until we have a custody agreement in place so stewing over it in the meantime. Unfortunately selling the house may, realistically, be the only, slightest option, I have to save this thing. I agree on the IC. If W refuses then I'll need to push it some other way. D really will need it.
Sunfish can be brutal for adults too! Add to that some of the catfish we've caught who've decided to poke me and it can be quite painful getting thos things off the hook! Caught another 4 sunfish and a carp (our first in 5yrs of fishing the river, very exciting for D) this morning with D. D is pretty much a fish whisperer, couldn't be prouder!
Altair, I agree! The folks around here are amazing! I'm so grateful for every single person here. As for firm but fair, that's really what I'm trying to be. W needs to realize what she's losing, but at the end of the day I'm not looking to absolutely crush her on anything. Maybe it's the wrong way, but realistically W and I each had our roles over the past 11yrs and $ earned seems like it should be split fairly. I still care for my W, regardless of what she says.
d just came down to play, will respond back a little later to you JK. Appreciate everyone!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Sorry, some fun time with D as well as awkward family time.
JK, appreciate it bud! W seems in a bad mood today and is combative on most things. I'm learning that's a good sign though. When she feels like she is in control she's very smug. W just told me that going to the gym 2x a day is extremely unhealthy. She really seems to want to poke on silly stuff.
Played with D earlier for a bit then W wanted to play monopoly as a family. W in a bad mood the whole time. D had fun though and crushed us as always. She's really good at this strategy stuff, scares me at times! D has a friend over for a sleepover now. W taking them to dinner and I'm going to the gym then cooking my dinner. (teriyaki salmon). No donuts for the girls tomorrow! W sent me some financial worksheets the Ls gave her. Seem like they pulled them from the Internet. Will send to my L next week to get started I guess.
Still grinding, but things are moving. Who knows where we end up but I won't drive this crazy train to divorce. Thanks everyone for your support!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
