Confused

[Coly23]

Oh n2hcke, it's awful that you can't just feel comfortable in his company and that you are always on edge in case he drops another bomb on you.

For me, and I'm certainly no vet, it sounds like you are trying to mind read, which I am guilty of, and that's only going to eat you up. I'm not sure what the answer is to make you less suspicious of him except if he is telling you what he is doing and where he is going that sounds positive. Is it possible for you to ask if you can join in on some of these activities? Would that be a 180 for you?

[Rose888]

The truth is, any one can get a BD at any moment, and they don't hurt less if you anticipate them, so the trick is to not ruin now by anticipating something that might not happen.

It's not easy, but it's a skill you can learn.

Hugs. Hang in there.

Maybe start a conversation about the show to distract yourself?

[n2hcke]

last night my H went to the store and bought crystal salts. When he came home, I noticed he was making flavored salt.
Rose888, I did what you suggested and tried to start a conversation about the salts.
So...asked him what flavor he was making and he said Sriracha. He then said he was going to let it air dry because he burnt the last batch in the oven.
That was the extent of the conversation.
I have been praying for wisdom and courage to talk to him more as earlier in this journey every time I tried, I got shot down. Now I am gun-shy.

Then, later on we were in bed watching TV, I fell asleep. When he turned off the TV, he rolled over and reached for me. So I rolled over and he held me and fell asleep. This is the second time in 2 weeks he's done this.
Should I be encouraged by last night?

[Buxom]

Sounds promising to me! I'd be very happy to have that, and I'd also likely be wary so I get it.

The conversation sounded respectful, short and you made a connection with no pressure. Not sure it gets better than that in the beginning stages of trying something new. I don't know your whole sitch but this part sounds good to me. Breathe and relax!

I got so insecure about conversations, I googled conversation starters. Sometimes we just need encouragement and ideas. Hang in there.

[n2hcke]

Buxom,
That is exactly how I feel, insecure in starting conversations. Thank you for your feedback. I feel it is a small step in the right direction, but I am so afraid as well.

I wonder if it is too early to start inviting him to go places with me and D.

[Buxom]

I'm not sure. I've been in situations like that and I just said, we are voing/doing this, you can join if you want, otherwise we'll be back later. Invite, No pressure, his choice, his loss. If he does go, relax, show the fun side and keep a list of safe conversation items in mind.
Hugs to you!

[n2hcke]

It is so hard thinking about going home and being ignored. All my H does is sit on the couch, watch TV and doesn't say more than 2 words to me every night.
How does one breach that when he doesn't even make eye contact?

[n2hcke]

My H came to me a little while ago and asked if we could talk. So we went into the bedroom and he asked me all sorts of questions. About things that went wrong in our marriage.
I answered as truthfully as I could.
We talked for about 45 minutes.
He ended by telling me he still didn't know what he was going to do.
I did tell him that by being willing to work on our marriage didn't mean that we forget what happened before, it is just being willing to go day by day.

Is this something good?

Does this sound encouraging?