You continued to press her to send the messages. That is not validation, IMO. It sounds like you were more curious to see what was written.
I was leaning validation only because pre 180 I would have told her to ignore them and that you're probably being paranoid and I'm sure they're not directed towards you. And that is the behavior she probably expected of me.
Besides, I can see all of his posts and most of them are junk...
The good news is that she is noticing your changes. She is probably skeptical that your changes are not sincere and long lasting. Notice what is working and what isn't. Do more of what is working.
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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Things started to smooth out and we actually had some really great date nights even had an overnight getaway last weekend.
Then she drops a sob story about OM's daughter being really sick and since OM is a "wreck" himself she would like to give the daughter a ride if she is in dire straights. I of course said hell no then we went inside and WW said " I'll sleep on the couch" to which I replied "good idea".
I went upstairs and brought the empty coffee pot downstairs and saw that she was sitting at the table with her purse and keys. I told her "please don't drive you've been drinking". I went upstairs and heard the front door open and close. I ran downstairs and saw she had keys in had. I tried to grab the keys out of her hand and told her she shouldn't be driving. She said "I'm fine" grabbed some stuff got in her car I told her "I Love You" and that was the last I've seen/ heard from her in the last 12 hours.
Just watch yourself so that you are not sounding overkill.