I'm still here and keep up with your sitch. I don't post because I can't think of much new to say. This is hard stuff and I feel for you.
I still see that you put a lot of pressure on yourself and are still mostly spinning. When I read posts that you are feeling depressed and down, I am somewhat relieved, because I see that as a healthy part of the grieving process. The end of M is like a death. When I read "most of the time I am truly indifferent," I worry about you. I see this as a giant step back.
First of all, nothing in your posts show indifference. Indifference happens after detachment, and both things only happen over time. Perhaps years. What I would like to see for you is the first steps to get yourself towards detachment. You continue to focus on what you are feeling each moment and what you need to do to move on.
I think it would behoove you to stop analyzing things and start living again. Baby steps. Start doing things you enjoy more. Invest more time with other people and make new friends. Don't worry about what she is doing or what the next step is--selling house, D, moving--these things take time to sort out and you have changed your mind several times. It's okay not to have all the answers today.
Start letting go. Give your mind a rest. I think you will feel better too. Take all the time you need. Then you can start detaching naturally instead of "forcing" yourself to by talking about it or taking action. Unfortunately those have the opposite effects. It's like dieting--the more guy think about not eating, the more hungry you feel.
Step one. Acceptance. Just stay there for a while.
Another loving 2*4 Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
She text me today, said "for what it's worth I really do miss my best friend"... Ok, that was a total mind fck, because I went through all of the emotions..
Did you forget how WW's want to hang onto the H as their best friend? I believe it hurts them worse to realize the H could care less about being her friend, than losing him as her H. Have I mentioned that they are crazy? All logical reasoning has vacated the mind.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
She text me today, said "for what it's worth I really do miss my best friend"... Ok, that was a total mind fck, because I went through all of the emotions..
Did you forget how WW's want to hang onto the H as their best friend? I believe it hurts them worse to realize the H could care less about being her friend, than losing him as her H. Have I mentioned that they are crazy? All logical reasoning has vacated the mind.
Coconut, I heard the exact same thing over and over again in June/early July. S8803andi is correct. It did not stop until I cut it off in mid July. I flat out told her "I did see myself as your friend when we were lovers, but not now, I am not your buddy."
Last edited by Cadet; 08/08/1601:06 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
