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Didn't say much last night. She asked if I was doing anything to "keep him" from her, and was pretty freaked out. I just explained no, I have had a busy week at work, he's doing well and I'll continue to send you info after bed. I'm trying to put phone away while we spend time together.....

She told me the plan with her Dr was to try to reduce stress and do more blood work in 3mos. That was about it.

This AM, said her parents are in town but when she came to pickup S they weren't with her. But she said they brought their little dog. She's house sitting right now, and will have to do blood work sooner than she thought. She has "small group" which I BELIEVE has to do with church, but she didn't elaborate because S ran out the door and so did the dog....because W never closed it. S was cranky and it was getting towards nap time which really annoyed me, because he's likely not going to have one today and when she brings him home at 5 he'll be nuts and really ready for bed.

She was in a good mood, said thank you for helping get all his stuff together and sorry that she was late (said she'd be here at 10 got here 11:15). I got him to spell mommy for her, as this is something new I taught him. He spelled daddy as well and she loved it. I said have fun with your folks and told S bye.



I spent some time this AM (while S played no worries lol) looking at old cbtdad stuff. One thing that really stood out was about how selfish it is to allow yourself time to change, but wanting her to do it immediately. It's hard. I like where I'm headed, and I feel like I'm changing things fairly quickly. Like others have said, it's easier when you don't see them. I just saw her for 5 minutes and I'm interested again, but my desire to know is less than ever.

Her journey is hers and mine is mine. I'm doing well. I'm reading more about how to communicate with women (going to read the 7 principles Gottman book next), becoming more and more convinced that I can be a single dad if necessary and confident in who I am and what I look like. My R with S is amazing, my folks even tell me they're really happy and thankful that I'm an even better Daddy than they thought I could be. I get them less and less, but I fight the urges to check up on W while I know she's navigating her waters as am I. I feel positive most of the time, I haven't initiated a conversation in a while, feel less angry and feel like I'm on a good path.

It's tough knowing I could become even better than I was before, and her still have no interest. I'm not saying I want to jump right back in, but I DO want to try. I guess I just have to realize it's been 2mos, not 6 or 8 or 12. I'm not where I want to be even though I feel I'm on a good path, and she's not still not yet the woman I'd want back let alone whatever she's thinking right now. I've read a lot of good posts from old cbt about controlling, about how even though you want them to do the right thing whether that be about parenting, the way they live, how they treat you, etc that they have their own views and desires. I'm a little like this and am working on it too. Not everything they do is for/against me, not for a reaction, not to make me happy/angry, not for anything but themselves. She's a strong individual, that's one of the things I've loved about her. Ironically, it's also how we butted heads because we have similar personalities and don't back down easily lol. This is obviously a big part of my reading....


I plan on taking some time for me today while S is gone. I'm going out for lunch at a really good place nearby for some great chili dogs. Beyond that, I'm going to take the dog on a long walk, shower, do some reading for me (ie not self help) and rest because it's been a long week at work! I'm not going to answer texts because I'm busy with my own life!!


Me: 35 W: 32
S: 4
T: 6 M: 4
Physical Separation official: 5/21
Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son

Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
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So, she just brought S home. Feel like I was lied to. Highly unlikely her parents are in town and she was in a big rush to leave while drenched in perfume. Feeling a bit used....


Me: 35 W: 32
S: 4
T: 6 M: 4
Physical Separation official: 5/21
Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son

Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
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Please start a new thread.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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