Progress is slow but does happen!

[PacLove]

While intriguing, it doesn't sound like the role is the best fit for me right now - and is skewed heavily to the work side in work/life balance - so think I'm going to pass.

Had an amazing weekend with D - she broke down though twice about W and asked if we are getting a D. I think reality is starting to set in especially with W talking about her new place she's going to have in Oct.

[PacLove]

Are any of you liking your WAW FB posts? She keeps liking mine. I know not doesn't mean much but we are supposed to be "nice" but aloof... And not noticing/liking could be seen as spiteful when everyone else is liking them.

[AndrewP]

PacLove - it really depends. I think we're on very different paths but with similar questions. For me I'm doing my best at leaving W alone to travel her own journey. She left to get away from me (she said to get away from the "noise" and try to decide on where her path lies) so other than in very rare circumstances such as a mutual close friend we hardly ever "like" the same things.

In your case I stand by my earlier comment that you've been moved into the "friend-zone". Is that a tunnel that has cheese in it? I'm not sure. You refer to your W as a WAW. Is she seeming happy in her new life? Doing the "friend" thing and paying attention to her feed and reciprocating in the "likes" keeps that channel of communication open and you on her radar. I can't see it doing any "harm" other than the fact that she's not feeling the loss of you at all.

It may be a bit drastic and perhaps tough. I know it would be tough for me but as a 180 and experiment perhaps shut down Facebook altogether for a week. Don't even log in. You could post something about you taking a break so your other friends don't worry. If your W reaches out to you in other ways then you'll know that she's been watching you and caring about what you are up to. If not - then well - friend zone.

[PacLove]

Thanks AndrewP - yeah I try not to think much of it - she's not very active on FB - logs in about 1x a week as far as I can tell...

So W's weekend with D10 and was around the home... a few things transpired which I thought were interesting.

W was pretty talkative throughout the weekend - most we've talked in a while but mostly just tactical stuff.

W asked for help with moving some of the stuff for when her place becomes available in 2 weeks, I politely said that she'll have to figure it out on her own - as I'm not supporting her to move out. She responded that she didn't have anyone... She then went on to say that I've been feeding D10 info about her leaving etc. etc... I responded that I would not do that to the person I love and respect (yeah probably not a good DB move but I said it)

Later on she pushes me again on this, I simply said that D10 is smart enough to know what's going on... I don't think she sees it this way unfortunately and blames me for creating a bad image of her which I've done nothing of the sort.

It was really a strange weekend got a mix of hot and cold all weekend - I think some of it AndrewP as you say is her trying to be in the "friend zone" as no where did she really hint at any type of R.

Next few weeks should be interesting as she permanently moves out.

[PacLove]

Ugh trigger today, as I sat in a 3 hour meeting with a guy that oddly resembles OM... I kept thinking about what is my W thinking??

[Jug]

Yeesh. I've had those too and I can feel my heart beating through my chest. I would have been thinking something else...

[coffee_]

betterm
I too was eating rotten egg cake, I am not the type of guy to live in the same house as someone who doesn't respect me or the vows that where taken. I did however not try to force her out, I just left. I don't think she thought I would and now that we are nearing the holidays her head is slightly out of the clouds. She builds the "custody calendar" and it is going well. But she had to put it in writing last night that she will not see the S13 on Turkey day. I gave her Christmas but it still hit her pretty hard. Her head didn't come out enough to admit that she would miss me on the holidays but I can only hope some of those feelings arose. She has had several A's over the course of 8-10 years of our 21y M. So after she asked me to be patient, and told me it was time for her to be selfish now, I realized that I cannot let either of those things happen while being M'd, so I filed. Another reason I filed for D was because again, without her willingness to move forward, admit her fault, show remorse. I know that I would not be able to trust her ever again.

[coffee_]

Are any of you liking your WAW FB posts? She keeps liking mine. I know not doesn't mean much but we are supposed to be "nice" but aloof... And not noticing/liking could be seen as spiteful when everyone else is liking them.

I unfriended my WW. But FB was a huge trigger for me to "go looking" I didn't want to see her happy life posts anymore. After all that went down, that action was what P'd her off the most. Go figure.

[Molly22]

I unfriended WS too. I couldn't stand to see the posts about his happy new life. I unfriended MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL too because watching them rally around my cheating WS and support him was more than I could handle.

[coffee_]

I unfriended WS too. I couldn't stand to see the posts about his happy new life. I unfriended MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL too because watching them rally around my cheating WS and support him was more than I could handle.

It't a good form of detachment, which is very difficult to do. Once I set the detachment wheels in motion the momentum carried me. I moved out, moved on and started to enjoy life again. If you can just stay off of FB, but for me its how I keep in touch with my family.