I have had this sickness in my stomach all morning. Still having a hard time Detaching.
Last night I put the boys to bed and almost broke down in tears again as I laid S2 to go to sleep. This little guy could feel my pain because he asked why I was crying and I just said I loved him and wished him a good night.
How is it a 2 year old can be so observant? He clings to me every evening and wants me to hold him.
I hope my boys will realize the sacrifices I am going to make for them by moving to Toronto after the D. I am crying again as I am typing this. Dang it!
I need to channel this into a good anger and start exercising and improving myself.
I don't know how to become even a little selfish. I know I am a good person with a few bad habits. I have to get a grip somehow and learn to love myself and put me first.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
It happens...I do it with my D7 now and then but try not to cry in front of her...it kills me.
They won't know now but when they grow older will realize all you have done.
Take your time as you are allowed to "mourn" the loss of the relationship and the amount of heavy lifting you are doing.
Try not to carry the weight of worrying about how your STBX is doing withthe kids. It is out of your control and just another stress point to weigh you down. You can only control what you do....
Get your feet under you and worry about keeping you happy and what can make you happy in the interim. you will get there
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
