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Originally Posted By: CRW
I actually asked her if I put a straight 50/50 shared care final divorce decree in front of her would she sign it. This just absolutely inflamed her. Since then she has questioned my fitness as a father, told me not to sit with her and S1 at D3's swimming lessons, etc etc. I really don't know what to do. Do I have to keep kissing her ass so that I get to see the kids? She acts like I should still treat her like we are married, when we are in the process of divorce.


-Why did you ask her about the 50/50 split? Of course it inflamed her... did you expect a different reaction?

-If she doesn't want to sit with you at swimming lessons, she doesn't have to. She can move to another spot.

-How are things going with the divorce process? Does she have a lawyer writing up papers? Have you figured out what you will and will not agree to?

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Originally Posted By: dream
Originally Posted By: CRW
I actually asked her if I put a straight 50/50 shared care final divorce decree in front of her would she sign it. This just absolutely inflamed her. Since then she has questioned my fitness as a father, told me not to sit with her and S1 at D3's swimming lessons, etc etc. I really don't know what to do. Do I have to keep kissing her ass so that I get to see the kids? She acts like I should still treat her like we are married, when we are in the process of divorce.


-Why did you ask her about the 50/50 split? Of course it inflamed her... did you expect a different reaction?

-If she doesn't want to sit with you at swimming lessons, she doesn't have to. She can move to another spot.

-How are things going with the divorce process? Does she have a lawyer writing up papers? Have you figured out what you will and will not agree to?


Because I saw an ugly side of her this week that I definitely do not love. I've not sure what that means overall though.

She does not have a lawyer writing up papers. She wants me to do that. But she wants me basically to concede to her on everything involving the kids.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
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Posts: 210
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Hello all.

I've came to the harsh reality that I don't love the hateful, nasty person she is right now.

So, I sent her a final stipulation to sign. Time will tell if she will actually do it.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Aug 2015
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Hey,

Hope things are going ok. She is stalling because she can. Do not change how you are working on you and your kids. She still wants out. Let her do the work. Let her get the papers written up by her lawyer. When she does you get them reviewed by yours. You need to research what you want as far as the agreement will look. Be proactive but let her do the work.


Me late 30's
W mid 30's
T 15, M 10
S4, S7
ILYBNILWY June 2015
In house S July 2015
W rings off Oct 2015
My ring off Feb 2015
Separate houses June 2016
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Well, still no divorce. We are stuck on settling up for the house, and on a couple days a month for custody agreements. I believe I have moved as far as I can, while she won't budge at all. I've had my lawyer draw up 3 separate proposals now, none of which she will sign. I just want out!


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 210
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Every time we talk, she goes back to talking about what a supposedly crappy husband I was and such. So counter productive.


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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CRW,

I don't know why, but your post reminded me of one of the original Star Trek episodes with Harry Mudd. I think they created three robot clones of his wife, Stella Mudd, to constantly nag him.

"You see, gentlemen, behind every great man there is a woman urging him on. And so it was with my Stella. She urged me on into outer space. Not that she meant to, but with her continual, eternal, confounded nagging. Well, I think of her constantly, and every time I do, I go further out into space."

- Harry Mudd

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HAHA, definitely!


Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16
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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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