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Si_07 #2691573 07/20/16 09:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2016
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Been awhile since I updated.

Have been taking care of myself and had the kids the past 5 days. At the weekend we went to a local festival where they send thousands of candles down the river after dark. Was part of my meetup group activity but took the kids with me, they were up late but is was good fun and worth it.

Sunday, we went to a different town and walked around the lake, got some ice cream. Has finally felt like summer here lately.

Last night with them before they go back to W tomorrow for 5 days. Come to a pizza restaurant with a big play area for them.Saturday I will be meeting the meetup group again at another local festival. Need to get caught up on some training to.

W report... So after questioning her about leaving the kids with a stranger, she has gone on the defensive, now she is trying to use the house as her leverage. Is complaining I'm not being cooperative, so will seek legal advice if I continue to not collaborate... I have a meeting with my lawyer tomorrow to checks few things out. I have told her before that I will meet her anytime but at a public place without the children. She hasn't once tried to do this... But have realized more that this is who she has always been. She has also blocked me on FB, don't know why as she doesn't post anything these days anyway. Have more the thought it's to try and provoke some reaction, something I haven't done. I feel to that these texts with reference to her lawyer are also about control and reactions. Again, I have been good and not rises to any of it.

I have spent time looking back over my M, as I feel my head is clearer than ever before. I was also reading some articles about 'professional victims', turns out my W hits a number of those traits to and has done throughout our M. She will and for the most part always has blamed other's for her troubles, me being most of all. Now I'm out of the picture for the most part, she has actually turned that on the kids. Since they felt frightened being left alone with a stranger, she feels S7 (in particular) needs therapy for his fears. Like usual, it's not her fault for creating the scenario, it's someone else's fault for taking it the wrong way. There are many examples throughout our M of this same trait.

In reading about this, it's advised to leave the relationship as rarely do these people ever look at themselves. This is kinda where I am now, that there may be nothing worth saving with someone of this mindset. Part of me feels like this is her true colors, albeit in overdrive, but who she really is... It's said someone like this is someone that is heavily emotional abusive, things I have now seen have contributed to the break down I had last year.

I don't know if anyone has experience with this or has any thoughts. It doesn't change my thought process in continuing to work on myself and look after myself and our children. I won't let her break our son like she did me, he doesn't need therapy for fears common to children or to be made out like these are things wrong with him. This has been her mindset for years, always me that needed the counseling, not her.

I have met a couple of other woman but am not pursuing anything, I still need time to work out my own head before going down that road.

My IC and my own reading has shown how manipulative my W has been over the years, how many guilt trips I have had put on me but how I didn't have the knowledge to deal with it efficiently. These things I will take forward for whichever direction my path takes me.

Si_07 #2691582 07/20/16 09:50 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
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Me-70, D37,S36
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