She didn't ask in a mean/demanding tone, more of a casual question/conversation
Well, I responded to the post you said she "grilled" you and had asked so many questions. Now you are saying it was a more casual question/conversation.
No, I do not suggest you tell her it's none of her business......unless she gets too horsey about it. It depends upon her attitude, mostly. If she is "grilling", I think you should say something that lets her know that she is as,ing too many questions.
If you have the type of personality and can smile and find it amusing, you can answer her questions with a question, or give very vague answers. pretend she is elderly, noisie neighbor who tries to corner you every chance she gets just to find out your business.
I know you want her to still care. You are not getting the point, here. The realization needs to hit her that she is giving up that right to ask you those things. Let me explain something. Even when a woman does not want to remain in the MR, and has no desire for her H...........she does not want him out there having a wonderful, happy time. Yeah, she may say she does, but it's a lie. At least, at this point, it is. And get this..........she does not want her position refilled. And, that is what's really behind all the questions!! So, you can think she really cares, if you want to..........but her caring is measured by what females were in your story. Like in, "where did you go", really means were you around any women. And, "who were went with you", or "who all was there", really means if any women were around. If you go fishing with just a buddy, do you think she wants to hear all about it? But tell her you were invited to a mixed group of people.....and look out for the questions.
With some women, and especially WW's, it is about control. She can't stand it if the H is acting as if he is a grown man who can come and go and do as he pleases. Why? B/c it is without her permission. She doesn't like not knowing all the details. If a man has a WW like that......he needs to break her from the control over him.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
She didn't ask in a mean/demanding tone, more of a casual question/conversation
Well, I responded to the post you said she "grilled" you and had asked so many questions. Now you are saying it was a more casual question/conversation.
No, I do not suggest you tell her it's none of her business......unless she gets too horsey about it. It depends upon her attitude, mostly. If she is "grilling", I think you should say something that lets her know that she is as,ing too many questions.
If you have the type of personality and can smile and find it amusing, you can answer her questions with a question, or give very vague answers. pretend she is elderly, noisie neighbor who tries to corner you every chance she gets just to find out your business.
I know you want her to still care. You are not getting the point, here. The realization needs to hit her that she is giving up that right to ask you those things. Let me explain something. Even when a woman does not want to remain in the MR, and has no desire for her H...........she does not want him out there having a wonderful, happy time. Yeah, she may say she does, but it's a lie. At least, at this point, it is. And get this..........she does not want her position refilled. And, that is what's really behind all the questions!! So, you can think she really cares, if you want to..........but her caring is measured by what females were in your story. Like in, "where did you go", really means were you around any women. And, "who were went with you", or "who all was there", really means if any women were around. If you go fishing with just a buddy, do you think she wants to hear all about it? But tell her you were invited to a mixed group of people.....and look out for the questions.
With some women, and especially WW's, it is about control. She can't stand it if the H is acting as if he is a grown man who can come and go and do as he pleases. Why? B/c it is without her permission. She doesn't like not knowing all the details. If a man has a WW like that......he needs to break her from the control over him.
THANK YOU so much for the response. I have nothing to lose with her. It's already lost. I'm taking the steps needed to regain control over my life. I do understand "why" she's asking, I'm just not good with words. It's why I'm a guitarist and not a singer!
I don't know what's goin on with her, I gave her a link to where you file. She's been silent since then. Jus waiting for the text that she's moved on it. Oh well
She didn't ask in a mean/demanding tone, more of a casual question/conversation
Well, I responded to the post you said she "grilled" you and had asked so many questions. Now you are saying it was a more casual question/conversation.
No, I do not suggest you tell her it's none of her business......unless she gets too horsey about it. It depends upon her attitude, mostly. If she is "grilling", I think you should say something that lets her know that she is asking too many questions.
If you have the type of personality and can smile and find it amusing, you can answer her questions with a question, or give very vague answers. pretend she is an elderly, noisie neighbor who tries to corner you every chance she gets just to find out your business. how would you handle it?
I know you want her to still care. You are not getting the point, here. Yes, she may care, but I think it is more curiosity The realization needs to hit her that she is giving up that right to ask you those things. Let me explain something. Even when a woman does not want to remain in the MR, and has no desire for her H...........she does not want him out there having a wonderful, happy time. Yeah, she may say she does, but it's a lie. At least, at this point, it is. And get this..........she does not want her position (as the wife or woman in your life) refilled. Not that she wants it. She just doesn't want anyone else having it. And, that is what's really behind all the questions!! So, you can think she really cares, if you want to..........but her caring is measured by what females were in your story. Like in, "where did you go", really means were you around any women. And, "who went with you", or "who all was there", really means if any women were around. If you go fishing with just a buddy, do you think she wants to hear all about it? But tell her you were invited to a mixed group of people.....and look out for the questions.
With some women, and especially WW's, it is about control. She can't stand it if the H is acting as if he is a grown man who can come and go and do as he pleases. Why? B/c it is without her permission. She doesn't like not knowing all the details. If a man has a WW like that......he needs to break her from the control over him.
Most LBH'S with a WW, have a problem in being too soft, b/c they are trying to win her back. Well, be careful what you win!
Being a better man, does not mean being a measley mouth marshmallow. A woman wants a man who are is stronger than her. She wants a man who is not afraid to stand up to her and put her in her place (for a lack of better words) when she gets out of line. And brother, if you have a wayward wife, you had better learn how....and quickly.
Don't misunderstand. I am not telling you to be a jerk. You can become better. Just don't lose your manhood.........or you won't
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Most LBH'S with a WW, have a problem in being too soft, b/c they are trying to win her back. Well, be careful what you win!
Being a better man, does not mean being a measley mouth marshmallow. A woman wants a man who are is stronger than her. She wants a man who is not afraid to stand up to her and put her in her place (for a lack of better words) when she gets out of line. And brother, if you have a wayward wife, you had better learn how....and quickly.
Don't misunderstand. I am not telling you to be a jerk. You can become better. Just don't lose your manhood.........or you won't
I'm walking a very thin line right now. I feel it was in the right direction though. The past few months, she hasn't said ANYTHING about divorce, and the SECOND I challenge something, she wants to file. It alsmost seems a bit childish on her part, which really speaks to how she is feeling right now. I know this isn't the real her, but I will not be taken advantage of. I've been more than supportive of her through all of this.
and yes, I am becoming better. I'm not intitiating any MR talk, but I'm more than glad to if she brings it up. I also have said that I WILL help with SS, but how remains to be seen.
I mean, if you think about it, yesterday I had $950. That was mine. I said to go ahead a use it for SS apt. I'm only going to need probably $350 or so of it, so I'm GIVING her $600 and she's all mad about it. yeesh!
