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Originally Posted by Bhuda1
My research has suggested I need proof to validate my accusation


You already have the proof. She doesn't need to know that.

Ok so imagine you and I are at a poker table. You lay a big bet on the table(this is you saying "I know I have something" or "I am bluffing".) I try to figure out which it is(im not sure because you didn't tell me what info you have).

If I look you in the eye and say "prove to me that you have a good hand"; would you?

You have the upper hand in information. If you concede that info you are disadvantaging your position.

She will either break down and confess all info, some info or will deny everything. Give her the chance to burn herself before you do. That way you know whether she is telling the truth or not. Having proof is good. Telling her what you have is a guarantee for her to only admit to that stuff that you know about, go fully underground, and keep on trucking with same or different OM. My$0.02


Me40; W38; S12; D9
BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18
D Final 7/2020
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Please start a new thread and link both of them together.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Thank you for the great analogy . Makes perfect sense. I cannot control what happens but I know I can control me. I have waited too long to confront her and force her hand. I have replayed in my head over and over what I am going to say, I have no idea what her reaction will be but I am prepared either way. I will tell her I wont live with a cheater.

I have two boys aged 18 and 16. What do I tell them in the event she leaves? Will I look like the bad guy for telling her to get out?


Don't count the days, make the days count.
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Last edited by job; 07/22/19 09:13 PM. Reason: added link to new thread and replaced link to new thread

Don't count the days, make the days count.
Mohammad Ali
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