I had a hard time letting go because, like you, I too worried very much about drifting apart from my h.
However, through reading extensively about this whole process, I learned we HAD TO drift apart. It's the very way you'll make it through this. We were no longer able to meet each others' emotional needs. My h regressed, like yours did. He re-wrote history (seemed to burn the history books altogether!), withdrew entirely on an emotional, intellectual and physical level. So, how could I have a relationship under these circumstances? How was this possibly going to fulfill me?
The point is, he had changed. Either I accepted that and started moving along on my own journey or, I could keep trying to have a relationship with someone who could no longer meet my emotional needs, not that he had any interest in doing so anyway. He had abandoned the marriage long before he bombed me.
I tried to be kind and listen when he came to me. Otherwise, I gave him space as he was clearly confused and not himself, at all.
You will feel so much better the more you walk, both literally and figuratively.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Last edited by job; 06/12/1608:17 AM. Reason: Added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
