Hi Cali I don't know about mediation in the U.S but in canada we have 6 free sessions. Usually cost a total of 188$ each in mediation for legal papers to divorce and that's it.
My XW pulled out on the last day. Ended up serving me with lawyers papers and it cost my over 6k
Cost her even more and she got less than what she was going to get in mediation. It's nuts
Sorry your STBX did the same. I think they feel better having someone in their corner fighting for what they are ENTITLED to and not really looking at the costs and added stress.
I know you will end out on top either way.
Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
For us the initial consultation was free ... then there is an individual session for each followed by 1-3 group sessions. Depending how many of those you need depends on the amount. I stuck to one thing through this mediation session stuff ... given the fact she emptied the accounts prior to BD I was not paying for a single thing, in fact the amount she 'stole' I wanted split in half and from that I would agree to pay half the fees. This went well with my "If you want a divorce I will not stand in your way" stance for the most part of this crisis.
Now I am in a bit of a different mind-set/situation. Work has been very good ... over the past 3 years I have had 3 10% increases, she has no idea about this and that's why I think she went the lawyer route thinking she needed to protect her 401k and her finances which were up for negotiations in mediation (She historically has made more but I think I have narrowed the gap significantly). Speculation on my part but avoiding mediation over 3 years and now getting a lawyer (days after the mediator suggesting as much) falls right in line with more MLC cray cray.
I hope it does not end up costing me more .. I am torn between just getting it done and over with ... or actually fighting for what the state would award with S's interest in mind (Thinking any dollar I give up takes a dollar away from him) .... TBH I am doing ok and really do not want anything financially from her, not even out of spite.
The other thing, I still have the VA home loan in my pocket and have set a personal goal to use that and buy S and I a small nice little place we could remodel and make our own ... I can not do this married knowing she would legally be entitled to 1/2 of that too. I hope in about 1 1/2 years I can pull the trigger on this and begin the new chapter.
Truth be said ... the D really changes little .... its a disappointment but more out of a reminder the M has long been over, it does not change my day to day life nor what I have been doing the past 7 months since I left ... I still have 'me' work to do and as with all things I will cross each bridge when I arrive there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
