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WillDo Offline OP
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I also think she feels hurt when I mention it is an affair. She had asked me not to mention it to the consellor. I listened and didn't. well I did but not the details. She said whe she was going to the other room that yeah go on thinking you are betrayed. The next morning when she talked about D and when I said I was worried about the constant messaging and I didn't see anything. She said she met probably before xmas. So in a sense she said something. Is this the guilt or a way of justifing her bad behaviour. I thought when she had left her prevoius job where she worked with him things would be over. Those emails I found. Flirtish onens when OM sends underwear pics and asks favs.She deleted his messages but didn't delete the sent folder. I don't want to see the sexting :-( Hey all don't do it. please don't do. I had seen similar bedore. Nothing new. Doesn't help. That is one thing I learned.

But is she feeling guilty. If so why is she sending pics woth OM on his birthday to her mother! Trying to be clean!


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
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Will

Whatever you concentrate on gets bigger. In my sitch there were at least 9 OW or POW. Some of them unknowing that WH (as was) was M. Others just horrible horrible peeps.

I have no sympathy for OP of any kind. And knickers don't just fall off. It takes planning and scheming to have an A. And if they will have an A with you then they will have an A when they are R with you.

Ridiculous.

Concentrating on the details of it won't help though. Not in any way, I do believe in Intel, the existance of an R and if possible who is in the A. Frankly knowing how many times they pick each others noses and with which bodily flUids only helps in fault D.

Keep a detailed log of it, write the facts of it down and journal the emotion here.

You ask what helped?

1 TED Talks Brene Brown, over and over
2. Mind mapping and looking at MY GOALS
3. Exercise and weight loss. So far 45lbs another 15lbs to go
4. If you read my early sitch GAL, I GAL like the best
5. Extreme self care including medical help and IC
6. Mindfulness, tried several apps and in the end settled for just various U tube
7. AL Turtle, I devoured his stuff on boundaries
8. Any book recommended here as helpful to anyone- some inspirational and some just bizarre in their theories
9. Reading about abuse and D
10. Zelda, Greengrass, Ancaire, Mutatio, Pigpen, Joe, Sandi, MrBond, Wonka, Dawn....... and loads more, my tribe here plus Vets
11. My higher power and resolving my own FOO (thank you Mutatio for walking that path with me, Pyrite, Whyus) finding out about ACES
12. CBT and NLP for my complex PTSD
13. Nutritional help
14. Inside Out (the film)
15. Having Sandi guide rules printed and laminated

..............

There are ways and means of recovering and developing yourself.

That is the focus, you on you. I read the hurt and pain, I read the down and blues. That is an extra difficulty Will. You are in the right place here. There are wonderful posters and your tribe who will guide you. Look to those further along the path and know that becoming the best you can be is a wonderful achievement.

It's ok, you are doing fine.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Quote:
But is she feeling guilty. If so why is she sending pics woth OM on his birthday to her mother! Trying to be clean!


If there is any guilt she is feeling, it may be because she knows - deepdown somewhere - that the affair hurts you. However, since she is sending pictures to his mother, that suggests that there is much more to this affair than you know. It is what it is.


Don't try to read anything into it as there is nothing to read. She's involved with someone else, period. Sorry to be blunt, but it needed to be said. What can you do in this time? Work on yourself. That's all. Become the best WillDo that you can, because no one else can do that for you. OWN YOUR ROAD.

Last edited by Cadet; 03/08/17 06:03 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message

There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
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