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Pink17 Offline OP
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Thanks Job,

I have a hard coconut head, but eventually I start learning.

What I left out and remember now:

1. I left a copy of the Danny Gokey new song - Let your heart breath again, on the back seat of his car when we went to the college visit. He never gave me back as he could think I forgot there, and never mention a thing about it. I left two copies together so he could just think was an accident.

I know you are probably laughing now because I am again 16 just like my younger kid. Oh well!!!

Pink


Pink17
S22,19 and 16
D:8/5/2015



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Pink, enjoy your time as a family. Laugh a lot, and just be you! XH wants to come home! Keep that door open.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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Hi Anjo , your coming out of your fear fog Fear was / is keeping you from seeing what's happening with XH. He is coming out ( very slowly ) of his fog and IMHO he wants to come home but even if I'm wrong , XH clearly cares very deeply for you.

The pain he caused is in the past , it's your fear that keeps it fresh in your mind. Your post about the dinner was lovely and touching , you obviously care deeply for XH and your heart is easily big enough to forgive Your faith will help you with this

No expectations and be the wonderful Pnk and let the past be the past.

You post was inspiring about fighting for your family and I would ask you to read it when or if you feel like your done. Others should as well.

XH is such a lucky man to have met a person with your strength , passion kindness and everything really. Be yourself Anjo and the future will sort itself out

Again , really touching post

Take care. Rd. xxxx

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Pink17 Offline OP
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Hello my lovely friends,

NYGal - thanks sweetie, yes I did enjoy myself indeed.

RD - I still need to deal with the fear, but again, my whole life was always surrounded by fear one way or the other. I guess I have the fear, recognize it but do not get paralyzed by it.

I believe that my wild side is stronger then my kitty side. I try to avoid what will hurt, or is difficult, but at a determined moment I just say to myself... What the bloody hell, there is always 50/50 and I will have rest and peace once I die.

This take is what keeps me moving forward. I know my life is not perfect and much less myself, but I care for the ones I love, and even for the ones I don't even know, I live a clean life without too much trouble, I am honest and I like battles, challenges. And I will keep moving until the day everything stops.

Yesterday was lovely. I drove, S16 navigated me since the restaurant was over an hour away, we listened to loud music. We got there and when we were ready to be seated, XH showed up.

He was at the parking lot waiting for us. It was indeed a surprise for S16 and he got very happy.

During dinner I was not very talkative, kept more for myself since they start talking about politics. S18 was in a hunger mood and slashed hard at his dad quite a few times.

XH has his way of telling the kids what they need to do with their lives, how they need to think and how to face the world and S18 kept pointing that his life was not really a great example of success.

I did not interfere or asked S18 to shut up. I could and I know he would just stop if I asked. But this is not my business anymore. My kids will express themselves and XH needs to deal with it whatever way he wants too.

He was man enough to do what he did to his family, then now man up to answer the consequences.

He kept referring things to me tough. Like saying... Cira, we are getting old, look at this kids and their strong opinion. Or, Cira, can you believe this guys, they now know a lot more then we do.

I just agreed with him, smiled and let it be. In general, it was enjoyable and the most important, S16 felt good about his dad making him a surprise.

S18 did not get better even after a giant steak. He looks a lot like his dad, but his temper is a lot like his mom. He just don't take any BS home, ever.

Towards the end, the waiter asked if she could bring the bill and XH said yes. I then asked her to bring two, one for me and the boys and one for XH. He was upset. I then asked if he was thinking to share the bill and he said that it was fine, never mind.

Again, I just let it go. Then he walked towards me, put his hand on my shoulder and thanked me for letting him to be part of S16 celebration. I said that he was welcome and that it was good for S16.

I did not move, and XH waited to walk out beside me. He started conversation about his trip, telling me things as usual. I was pleasant, but kept my own space, not too interested but not disregarding him.

We walked out all together and while he was hugging S16 again, I said goodnight and got myself into my car. As soon as the kids where in the car, we just left. We normally drive close since we were going back to the same town, but not this time. My life has nothing to do with him, so I went my own way.

I also noticed that he kept looking at me across the table, I know he normally admire me and I was not so bad yesterday.

I still need to post my questions here. There is so much to come and so much interaction with XH that I don't even know where to start. We have busy lives and because we are 100% in our kids lives, it's inevitable to bump on each other all the time. But I will get my questions together and get some guidance from you guys.

Well, better go back to work, have a busy day and a lot of patients today.

Later... love to you all,
Pink


Pink17
S22,19 and 16
D:8/5/2015



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Pink, you know me. Always the romantic. I don't know why you don't make it easier on XH by showing him your interest? Don't push him so far away that he can't find his way back. He seems to be making all these overtures to you. Why not let him just a little more in?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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[/i]Sweetheart you need a new thread.

I have some observations that I would like to make.

WH is not going to reconnect until his attraction for you is greater than all other feelings.

We know one thing, WH was attracted to Pink for many years. What were the things that attracted him to you?

Do you still show those things?

Are you doing for yourself that which gives you power passion and makes you attractive?

If not go do them. An angry disillusioned ex W who blows hot and cold would confuse me.

Waywards run all around for an A partner, WH is capable of that, your description shows it of him and TauC.

I am not discussing the law of attraction pie in the sky stuff but the go get your live with passion stuff.

The ride on a motorbike devil may care passionate Pink. You route to attraction wouldn't be my route, Lady V is a cool more intoverted style with challenges and grit rather than daredevil. So the route for each one of us is different.

I am not talking of going back to your young self, more a deeply self centered Pink who knows that which she wants and goes for it.

I am not saying seduction although being sassy is certainly part of it. It is not the seduction but the [i]attraction
that counts. The interplay. Unless the family children's party was anot attraction environment that won't cut it. That puts Pink firmly in the mom pigeon hole. I can understand that.

Pink the woman has to be the attraction that snaps WH from his musing. When he gets the 'oh [censored]' and 'she is off', this comes because Pink is enjoying her life, she is having the GAL of her life. She is a sexy attractive woman with va va vroom. Mega mojo.

This happens because Pink is the woman a fool left and my goodness he knows it and wants to come back.

Pink has her sassy back in spades and is on her way.

Go girlfriend

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Goo pink!


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
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Yes, Pink! You've got this! Be Sassy Pink 2.0!!! Update us, please.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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Pink, it's time for an update!


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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