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Joined: Oct 2004
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NYG,

Come on! Still being too available here.

Seriously.

Let's get working on this latest convo using the DB way.

Thanked me for latte. Said I looked very nice. Said "I know I'm crazy so I'm sorry you're involved with a crazy woman."

Still temp checking. Don't you see it??!

I would have said: "I can see why you think this way. It must be hard for you."

Let W figure this out by herself.

Then she said: "I want you to know I'm doing some serious thinking. I miss our life together."

I would have said: "It looks like you're struggling. I hope you can find peace soon."

I would have said absolutely nothing about "me too" or fall into the pit of missing her blah blah blah. Remember, you're the STRONG one here. Not her.

Then I would have cut it short saying, "I cannot talk for long. I need to go and get back to work."

See? That will show her THAT you have no time for this chit as long as W is still involved with OW.

You really, really need to be scarce. I still see your actions as being too available and too desperate to accept her sloppy seconds.

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job Offline
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Please start a new thread.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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NYGal Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Painter
You probably just want things to go back to the way they were and forget about this unfortunate incident, but how do you know it won't happen again?
NYGAL: THAT'S A KEY QUESTION. I WILL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN I GET TO IT. I KNOW I'M NOT THERE YET.

If you were to consider getting back with her at some point, I would want to know why she thinks she did it. Was it boredom? IN PART, I'M SURE. Was there something she was really missing in the R with you? WELL I COULDN'T BOOST HER EGO AS EFFECTIVELY AS SOMEONE NEW CAN. What made her feel that this was the right thing to do? THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION AND SHE HAS SAID (BELIEVE NOTHING OF COURSE) THAT SHE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND HOW SHE COULD HAVE DONE THIS TO ME/US. SHE HAS DONE IT IN THE PAST AND SHE COULD CERTAINLY DO IT AGAIN.

And I would be very worried about being dependent on her in any way again. SHE HAS SAID (BELIEVE NOTHING...) THAT SHE WANTS TO GET MARRIED TO HER PARTNER AT SOME POINT. OR SHOULD I SAY THAT SHE WANTS TO WANT TO GET MARRIED? I WOULD HAVE SOME VERY SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THIS BEFORE I FULLY COMMIT TO HER AGAIN. I KNOW SHE WOULD INSIST ON A PRENUP, BUT I WANT THAT LICENSE. AT THE VERY LEAST IT MAKES RELATIONSHIPS A LOT LESS TRANSIENT. AT LEAST IN MOST U.S. STATES.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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NYGal Offline OP
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11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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