The problem with me filing is that he has been unemployed for over 18 months. I would have to pay him spousal support!!! There are no retirement plans or pensions or savings left, he squandered that when he went through his MLC madness several years ago. The only source of income is mine, and I live paycheck to paycheck right now.I pay all of the bills and take care of the childrens needs. I will change the password on my computer today and clear out everything. I guess I was fooling myself into believing that he would stay in his corner and not cross the boundaries. I didn't want this to get ugly.
Checking to see what your "legal" rights are is the smart thing to do right now. You should check around to see if lawyers in your area have a free consultation. Also, check on line to see what the laws are in your area. It pays to know what you are entitled to just in case you opt to divorce him or vice versa.
As for passwording your computer...that's a must since he slipped up and was sitting there using yours when you walked in the door. He may have been doing something very innocent, but when it comes to mlc, red flags tend to pop up for me. Also, you'll need to check to see if he's typed in a command, whereby he can read incoming emails, but he won't be able to respond to them. My xh, who thought he was a clever little imp, slipped up and told him mother what he had done and she contacted me immediately and sure enough, I located the command and deleted it. I would never have thought he would have been that devious to do something like that...but mlc turns them into people you don't know and let's face it, we truly do not know what they are capable of when they are out on the street until they do things.
So, play it smart, do your homework and keep what you learn to yourself. Take care of your computer and make sure that all of your important papers that you do not want your nosey little imp to see are in a safe place. You may even want to get yourself a small safe and lock them up in there...but don't ever think he won't go a search mission to see what you've been up to.
Setting boundaries, visitation schedules, etc., may not get ugly. It all depends upon how you present the issues to him. Stay calm, keep your voice even and look him in the eye when you tell him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree with Job, and certainly think password protect as a minimum. You may also want to check your programs list, just to make sure nothing was installed on that date.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I haven't written lately because there isn't that much to say. I'm just plodding along, and taking care of myself and the kids. He's been out of the house now for two months. I don't miss him. I like the peace and quiet. We communicate via text, for me that's easier. Sometimes I get random text messages about his mother or his spoiled brat nieces. Apart from all of that, everything else is just fine.
