Getting caught would be awful, I agree. And I'm not sure what I gain by finding out where she lives. At least I only go there when I'm already in the 'hood. And it's only been Sunday and today... Does that help restore your faith in me Wonka and Fo?
We need to talk.
I am deeply concerned about your activities regarding the OW. You've walked by her hallway area in her building. You have looked up OW's schedule. You've driven by her home several times. This comes off as the actions of an unstable person.
You have made tremendous progress and strides with W. I have been around the DB for years and I have seen where stalking has really driven the final nail in the coffin. There's one former DBer who saw the OM in his truck and beat the living sh!t out of him in front of his W. His screen name? Dawgy. Now that has become a part of the DB lexicon as in "don't go dawgy here." He's now divorced.
It all takes a phone call from OW to take out a restraining order against you. Your work reputation will be destroyed and you will never recover from this. Career will go no where, people will whisper "look at her...she stalked the OW...how awful is that?", your boss will never look at you the same way, and W? You can forget it.
This isn't time to get cute and say "does this restore your faith in me?"
Look, I know no contact is hard. In my case, I did not hear a peep from Ms. Wonka for 4 SOLID months...consecutive weeks, about 120 consecutive days of NOT hearing a single word from her.
What did I do? I got busy. Took up a new hobby of golfing...which I love, LOVE with a passion to this day. GALed my butt off.
The time has come for you to completely cease all actions in regard to the OW. She's beneath you.
You are the bigger person here.
Get back on the DB horse and continue with your GAL activities.
Last edited by Cadet; 02/03/1608:11 AM. Reason: start a new thread message
Getting caught would be awful, I agree. And I'm not sure what I gain by finding out where she lives. At least I only go there when I'm already in the 'hood. And it's only been Sunday and today... Does that help restore your faith in me Wonka and Fo?
We need to talk.
I am deeply concerned about your activities regarding the OW. You've walked by her hallway area in her building. You have looked up OW's schedule. You've driven by her home several times. This comes off as the actions of an unstable person.
THIS is why I keep urging you to let OW alone. Back away from all of it, because the stress is getting to you. This is not a competition you can win, so why even play?
Stabilize yourself before this gets out of your control.
You're both right, of course. I don't want to be unstable or crazy. I would never, ever do what Dawgy did. In fact, even glaring at ow didn't feel so good after all. I'm glad I got it over with, though, since that was the first time I'd seen her face to face since her identity was confirmed. I don't need to see her again, but if I do I'll just look straight ahead and not acknowledge her.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
