I have had a few good days lately. GAL activities were fantastic and I made plenty of good connections with people. Good fun times.
I went shopping the other day. It was the first time shopping that I didn't feel the misery I have carried for months since BD. Gift and grocery shopping during the holidays was putting me down for a while. Watching everyone in their Xmas sweaters and santa hats was making me depressed and lonely. Not this time. I don't know what has changed. I must be detaching like a champ.
I watched a couple at the store giggling and acting cutesy with themselves. Not long ago it would have caused my eyes to well up and I would have likely left the store empty handed and sad. I expected that to happen but instead watching them brought good memories of W before WW and how we used to do that while rummaging around the stores this time of year.
I find myself going over the good times we shared now. It makes me wonder if WW feels the same. Thinks the same. I know I know it does not should not matter. But you know what it makes me smile instead of frown. It makes me feel happy and not sad. I must be entering a new chapter . . .
Hey 2point... great to hear about your GAl'ing. It really does make a difference doesn't it.
Also great to hear about you seeing things that remind you of good times with your wife and having it not make you feel sad. I still get a touch of sadness during times like that. Maybe I could follow your lead and think of good times in those cases.
Hi pinn thank you for stopping over. Yes it really does make a difference. It helps keep me out of my head. More important out of WWs head.
I do not know why the good times are fluttering about in my head but I am certain it does not bring the same intense fear anxiety stress thoughts did not long ago. I am very thankful for this because that was such a constant drill in my heart. It hurt too much. Too long.
1 month later I find myself on this board following up on what Ive missed. Personally the holiday season was hard yet I went through feeling o.k. Some family and friends helped with getting past it. New hobbies and interests kept me busy.
There is 1 problem I am working through. I miss W more than I would have expected. I have been dark as midnight and keep all or at the least most thoughts out but d**n if I try not to I really miss W.
Yes there is the pedestal issue. I get it. And OM is still around from what I can tell but being honest I have not kept up with any thing in WWs life to know any thing with any certainty. Only some memories and missing.
