Journal She made my bed and brought my clothes upstairs from the laundry. 2 things she hasn't done in quite some time......then she didn't come home again last night.
1 step forward .....2 steps back......
I have to ask myself.....does it bother me when she doesn't come home? I guess it does or I wouldn't even be bringing it up. I guess mostly it's a reminder she doesn't love me more than anything in the world like she just said again on Monday.
It hurts my heart but my head knows she needs to spend time with these other men in order to realize the great man she is leaving.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
I'm creating a list of household items that will need to be split up. I'm not really that sad about it. Feels more like a business transaction more than anything. I am excited about getting all of her stuff out of the house so I can make it mine. New carpets and hardwood floors first. Then bedroom set, gut and redo the kitchen, install bar top I've been building, build new bookshelves in the family room and office. This should run me into the spring when I'll tear up the yard for new sod, sprinkler system and landscaping. Tear out the 1st old deck and build a new bigger deck. Tear out the second ground level deck and replace with stone pavers and a big stone BBQ. I plan to do most of this work myself.....should keep me busy when I'm home alone.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Thats awesome G, I have a huge list of projects as well. I am trying to get a better schedule for myself to get started on them. I find keeping up on the house, work, kids, and GAl, makes for a very busy person!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
It sounds like she needs counseling. She will only realize that once she hits bottom, and that's with you out of the picture, from what you have portrayed. She's playing the martyr role, and it's masking the true hurt that she hasn't dealt with. Somehow by going through with the D all will be ok - which is a lie.
She will be left with a bigger void than she can imagine. Your list of projects is impressive. That is truly meant for a MAN only a FOOL would leave.
Last edited by trumpet; 12/02/1508:25 PM.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
otw and Trumpet, Thank you for stopping by. Working/changing the house will be therapy for me. There are a lot of terrible memories in several of those rooms especially the MBR and Kitchen. To tear them down and rebuild them with my own hands will be very good for me.
otw- I know I'll be busy with those things too. The nice thing about being in the house with out her is that I won't be in a hurry to get them done. I can do a little bit each day. Building projects have always given me a sense of accomplishment
Trumpet, I think you are right. I was actually talking about it with my Mom this morning. WW says she believes we may remarry someday and today I do not have the emotional leverage in order to encourage her to get the help she needs. She going to have to lose me, to hit rock bottom, to struggle financially, to have the kids not want to spend time with her, etc....I don't know what all it may take but she'll need to hit the bottom. Realize what she lost in me and be willing to do anything to get me back. Then I will have the emotional leverage to strongly recommend she seeks professional intensive therapy for the all the issues she has projected on me for years. If she wants me back she will need to spend time on her own healing first.
Today, I do not want her back the way she is. I do know God can work miracles and He may choose to work one of those miracles on her in the next 16 days. If He doesn't I know His plan for me is better than I can imagine. I also know He may call me to reconcile with her down the road. If He calls I will answer but I will not be putting my life on hold waiting for her. I will be moving ahead with out her.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
