Also, as long as people do not question him about what he is doing, he'll continue to socialize w/them. The minute they begin to question him, he'll disconnect from them as well. Keep in mind, you are the first one that he will disconnect from and the very last one that he will reconnect with, if he comes thru his crisis.
Again, it's nothing personal, but you represent to him the cause of his unhappiness. Please understand, that you didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him. Maddy, you didn't cause this problem within him, it happened as a child and now he's got to face to those issues and deal w/them.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job thanks for the reminders ! The reason I am confused if because his parents came to visit and H treated them great, was considerate, caring, even told them where he was going when he went out, i could tell he was genuinely sincere. They dont approve of a D and have told H that many times. H listened carefully to what they said and i saw improvements in H towards the kids and others he had disconnected from.
Maddy, It could be that right now, he wants validation and affirmation from them, i.e., like a child. There are cases whereby the MLCer will become that dutiful child again (even though one or both of the parents stunted their emotional growth). It's really interesting to observe them. He's trying to relive his youth and certainly wants mom and dad to see he's the "dutiful son".
Yes, he listened to what they had to say because that was what he was taught to do as a child. There's really no way for us to truly understand how their minds work because the wires are misfiring in the brain. I saw some of the same behaviors in my xh during the beginning of his crisis and as he moved deeper in crisis, he couldn't have cared less about his mother, in fact, he treated her as a burden.
At this time, I would just sit back and observe. If the changes are real and he continues to improve on them, then maybe his improvements are real and permanent.
He definitely wants validation and recognition for when he does something right and good.
Keep the focus on you. Okay?
Also, please start a new thread. Your current thread is over the 100th posting.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My H blames me for his physical pain, the main reason for wanting the Divorce according to him is if he stays with me he doesn't know how much time he has left, does anyone else's H talk or think like this?
Maddy, my husband said the same thing to me, don't listen, don't buy it !!
