Thank you annab and Thornton for stopping by with your usual excellent advice and words of wisdom!
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I agree with Thornton. She hasn't really had to process the loss of her family yet since you have remained together in the same house. Instead she has been able to spend all her time focusing only on what she doesn't like and wants to get away from. After she moves, the reality of it all is going to crash in on her. That's the point she will be forced to figure out if this is really what she wants or not. I think it would be a great time to go NC on her as much as possible too. Let her feel the emptiness and silence.
I really hope you are right. I know that this may be bad to say about a loved one, but part of me hopes that when she gets to her new place that her world and reality really does come crashing down on her. Maybe then she will come to her senses. Is that a bad thing to think? I think that she needs to have to reality hit her in the head and knock her out of this fog. At one time she was convinced that everything would be OK and the kids would not suffer in the least - even if they have never seen us fight or act unkindly toward each other or the like. I
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
