He loves me but is not "in love" with me

[MrBond]

I get that it goes against her professional ethics. And again, you're going to have to determine if whether or not it's going to help or hurt your situation. That's what it comes down to. I understand how hard it is because of what's going on, but you have to be sure you're not doing it solely out of revenge. That will lead you into all sorts of trouble.

[Hulk]

I get that it goes against her professional ethics. And again, you're going to have to determine if whether or not it's going to help or hurt your situation. That's what it comes down to. I understand how hard it is because of what's going on, but you have to be sure you're not doing it solely out of revenge. That will lead you into all sorts of trouble.

I quite agree. I haven't written the complaint yet as I want to wait until my emotions settle down slightly.
The extra layer in it is that if I don't report her and she does something like this to another client/s then my own professional reputation will be questioned as to why I chose not to - the code of ethics also states that colleagues are expected to report unethical behaviour (usually the first step is to contact the person, hence the recommendation was that I contact her). Admittedly, a small part of me also hoped that she'd examine her behaviour and end it, but I doubt that's going to happen - they've both justified their actions in double standard terms as being ok.

I don't want to be with him anymore as the more time that passes, the clearer I can see that the relationship was borderlining on abusive at times. That said, I agree with you that making the complaint purely out of spite would be vindictive.

[JulieH]

Sorry hulk, I thought you were only with him for a short amount of time. (Not that it matters when your hurting)

I agree. Limit contact, be polite and try not to engage in his spite. Sounds like he is trying to bait you.

Like I said its a difficult decision to make because if your goal in reconciliation, reporting her conduct will make you look petty and will drive him away.
I am sure you are aware, that she obviously has some deep rooted issues that will eventually come to light in your ex's eyes. So if you wait it out and let him realize it for himself you will come across looking like good guy and he might have regret. Best bet is to let go and move on and work on yourself and just disengage and rise above all pettiness.

Your situation is very different though, because there has been a HUGE breach in a professional code of ethics. She should not have a license and she might hurt another family in the future (figure she will be working with people that might not have appropriate coping tools, have chemical imbalances, young children can be involved etc.).

I don't know what your responsibility is to report and I'm sorry but I do not know how to advise. I know how much courage it would take to report. Is she vindictive? Is he vindictive? Would you or your daughter be at risk? Would love more opinions on this though.

[JulieH]

Sorry. I posted above at same time you posted, so I did not read your above messages. It sounds like you are obligated to report to protect your own license. I am sorry you have to deal with this added complication to something so heart breaking.