It's lovely of you to think that way, you are so caring Rouky.
It is unfortunately pursuing. It'll just boost his ego or he may even laugh at you or worse still both.
Write it all down, get it out there then burn the piece of paper in the garden or permanently delete the file <shift><del>. Your mind then has the feeling of release plus you get closure, all within your control.
Why are you scared of him? He has no control over you now, if he starts yelling or throws a tantrum, ask him to leave and say nothing more. A boundary is then defined. Kids hate it when they are found out and are sent to their room if they throw a tantrum, treat him the same.
If you don't ask him, won't it eating away at you be more painful over time?
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Well if he tells me he's back with her I know he isn't lying. If he tells me that he isn't and I know that he's lying, this will help me to drop the rope more easily.
What I am scared off? Despite what he did/ does to me I still have love for him and I'm afraid that if I don't do things right there will be no more chance for me. I know I can cope living on my own with my 2 beautiful girls. I think I might be attractive as I get compliments by male friends and how people look at me in the street.
I'm scared to hold on to my hope ( us being a family again and me a better version of me) as it'll probably never ever happens if he is back with her!
Finding it hard to move forward and not move on. Sotto gave me a good definition of it.
Rouky, take a step back, what would your response be if you saw a post from a newbie that said "What I am scared off? Despite what she did/ does to me I still have love for her and I'm afraid that if I don't do things right there will be no more chance for me."?
You need to start a new thread.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Hi Rouky, the thing that strikes me is you are talking about him being back with OW as though that means the end for you guys. In fact, it's probably just an 'on phase' for the A which will likely run it's course - as most A's do.
Yes, that takes time - but that decision is yours - whether you are willing to let that time pass and let things play out while you work on you and live your own life....xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
