Concentrate on your D now but without losing track on your S
I would suggest being open and honest with her. In my case I told my S (22 yrs old now) I HAD messed up and was sorry and that whether or not he would want me in his life, he was in mine and was there to stay. Later on with time he understood some of my actions back then and realized I was not as bad as I was made out to be and his mon was not as good as she made out to be. I let him learn that by himself.
I remember saying we are not handed a book on how to be parents but rather write our own chapters for each child and DO get it wrong lots of times. I then ended by saying that the same determination he has to keep me out I will have to continue where I left off.
I followed all this with actions, some direct, some behind the scenes. He could always turn me down but at least he knew the truth.
With myself i found that after an aopolgy a rejection was more about me needing my space to handle something, to come to terms with it and forgive than about not wanting the person close to me keeping the distance.
When my own dad walked out on us it wasnt quiet and it hurt like h**l. The worst part was he did all these things we talk about, GAL, detaching, etc from my mom but also from me. I lost my role model. The person I wanted to be like. I did not understand what was happening just that he wasnt home but was happy when I was with him. The trouble is kids grow up.
Sadly he went from daddy to dad to father.
Even then no one my mother dated was good enough. He was a selfish creep that was still on that damn pedestal.
My mother's happiness went from depending on my father to mine. She was never in control of her life. (This is why I 2x4 you G to GAL and not let your hapiness depend on anyone else but you).
I found myself barely a teenager struggling with a wrecked home, in the middle of exams, still finding out who I was and now having to take over his job. He was a crap dad in all honesty, then and even later on. We all have this notion that if life treats us rough we always have our parents home to fall back on. In a way I did but it wasnt a sanctuary.
My mom was in no way ready to handle a teenage son and i messed up a few good years of my life with a blank chque discipline wise.
My father had my respect and was a belt and buckle man. She couldnt compete. She had enough with her 2 jobs to make ends meet and dragging me around until i could be independant.
He died a few years ago in a country far far away. In the end I forgave him for coming back and looking after my mom during her final years. He earned that much respect from me but not my love.
The reason G for bringing this up is that to this day if he had given me a hug, treated me like a son instead of a "man" I would have forgiven him and loved him. That was over 33 years ago. So you see ... a childs love has no limits.
He was a womanizer that neglected his W and his S and though patched things up towards the end I made the same mistakes in my life.
I was lucky though, I have an understanding son and a W that always reminded me when I messed up. Your D will be understanding, you just need to talk her language and next time listen to your W. I think that if she is a good mother and does see change in you she will open up and help you become a better dad.
Just remember.... it does NOT mean it will affect or improve your M in any way. That is another battle, but improving your R with your kids never hurt a M.
You do not learn from others mistakes but from your own.
Work on your D, work on yourself, regain that part of your family and maybe, just maybe along the way you will find an unexpected travelling companion you gave up hope on ready to complete the rest of the journey with you.
I will be the man that hopefully walks her down the Isle when she gets married and if not then I will be there with the camera recording her special day
G... A daughter needs her dad to walk her down the aisle. F**k that about recording her special day. You have to be THE special man in in her life as your W that special woman.
That is not an option, that is a goal. Backaway from this fight and you lose all respect and dignity you ever had.
These are the comments that really irritate me G. You reflect no character, passion, c*j*nes (spanish). FFS G manup, stamp your foot and take the bull by horns. And if you cant reach because you are short then by its nuts but start showing who you are and you will take no s**t.
