I'm going to do a weekly Red,Yellow, Green assessment. Anything more complicated and I won't do it.
Becky, theres a tool in factories to visually monitor progress. For example, for safety, they will take a big S and divide it into 30 slices numbered for each day, then each day, color in the slice red/yellow/green. Theres often a S for safety, a Q for quality, and maybe a P for productivity or something like that. Im guessing, you could print out the same!
The goals themselves; great job! Now to stick with them!
Edit to add: Sorry, I work for a company that emphasizes visual management, and your color idea sparked that nerd spot in me. You can see that I only grade myself 1-5 on an every new thread basis, so Im not as specific as you are. Kudos!
Azzork, I tried to be very specific with the goals so I can measure success. For me if an assessment is too complicated I won't do it. Your goals were a good guide for me.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Just rambling. I am not telling anyone that I still want to save my marriage because they all think I'm crazy. So I'll ramble here because you all understand.
I'm so frustrating with H. He said he wanted to get divorced quickly, he didn't love me anymore, he wants to marry OW. Yet he still hasn't done anything since he filed. No attempt to settle. I just can't believe he's going to drag this out until trial in Jan/Feb. Make no sense but I does give me more time.
Maybe he really does have anxiety about getting divorced. More likely he is very overwhelmed with his and OW's health issues, and he's a huge procrastinator.
We rarely see each other or communicate. The big thing was he would contact me about getting his mail. Now that will slow down because he finally did a change of address request at the post office. I pushed him to it. On on hand I hate that it is happened but on the other hand it signals that things can't remain the same.
The last couple of weeks have been rough. I think I got cocky and thought I was doing well. I cut back on my IC and DB coach. And my friends and family have gone back to their lives. Apparently I still need a significant level of support so I'm reaching out to people again.
I have a lot of GAL activities but nothing with a lot of meaning. I need to start exploring opportunities to serve others. I believe that is the best antidote to depression.
In the mean time I have many things to be thankful for. Here are a few. *A very well-paying job *A roof over my head and more food than I should eat. *An amazing support system, including some good friends have gone through the same thing I am. *Friends with skills and muscle who are willing to help do things around my house. *Budding friendships with ladies at a new church I am attending. *The knowledge that my God knows my future and loves me unconditionally.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Beckyb, you've kind of said what you need to do yourself.
You are grateful for what you have around you.
You life is enriched by more things than previously.
It is not uncommon to cut back on things when you feel they are going in the right direction, often that's the time to kick it up a notch or at the very least keep the same. Up your IC and DB coach time a bit and you'll feel better, maybe try just one or the other and see if the midway house helps? They are tools to help you, so use them wisely, those who use them as a crutch often end up in a very sorry state, never really shedding their neediness, it's simply redirected.
If your H is not pressing any more, so what? If it takes until Jan/Feb to come to court, so what?
Step back and let it be, enjoy your full life and wait to see wha happens. You seem quite patient and then sometime agitated, allow the "chilled" beckyb to remain dominate and you'll feel so much better.
Who knows what is around the corner for you? Worrying about it won't help, so relax and enjoy the calm and your batteries will be fully charged for whatever comes at you. Plus you'll have an inner peace that will give you the good grace to cope and at the same time thrive.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
You might want to consider starting a new thread as the 100 post limit is nearly upon you.
Maybe it could be the next chapter for you?
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
The patient me is just a facade. I am extremely inpatient and controlling. When I act all patient it's just me trying to improve myself.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
