Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
NDY #2633688 12/21/15 12:17 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
NDY, update?

How's the new place with S10.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fogg #2633708 12/21/15 01:50 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
N
NDY Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
Hi Fogg. Thanks for dropping in.

The new place is starting to get there. It's a bit of a nightmare in as much as I have a lot of stuff to still unpack and I need to organise S10's room before things will start to feel normal. I have a list of DIY things that need done (this will be my GAL for a while) and I have some time off between Christmas and new year where I intend to get as much done as possible.

He and I are starting to get into the new routine and when he's not around I have friends I can spend time with. It's been good albeit the circumstances aren't the best.

I was thinking about this the other day. This is the first time in my entire life I've lived alone. Ever. And when S10 is with me I have to be mum, dad and play mate all at the same time. True story. Yesterday I was painting the livingroom, ironing clothes for the coming week while preparing the evening meal AND packing lunch. And while relaxing later on I have my computer on organising bills. So yea, I can do it.

As for the Ex W we've been in touch quite a bit lately over the selling of the old place. The new owner is trying to take advantage. I don't try to seek her out at all and when she communicates with me it's obvious she's trying to friend zone me.

For me I'm doing way better now. I still think about my sitch but I can put it at the back of my mind much easier now. I do look forward to the future. In fact I was looking up cookery classes just before lunch. This will be my new year goal as I really can't cook and I'm starting to think of summer holidays for S10 and myself. Last time I discussed my sitch was when I was with a friend and HE was the one that brought it up. Not me.

I also get the impression my ML isn't happy with what's been happening. It's too vague for me to describe but if you knew her you would know what I mean.

Also, when I'm on my own at home it's actually good. I can eat what I want. Watch what I want on TV or not. Sleep when I want or go for a pint after work if I feel like it. It's liberating in a lot of ways as my Ex W was very controlling but in such a subtle way you didn't know it was happening. But it was.

So things are great. I feel fantastic and I have all my responsibilities under control. I'm really looking forward to the new year. New year and new start.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2633712 12/21/15 02:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
Sounds like things are going well, I'm glad. I think I'm in a very similiar situation other than my mind is thinking about the sitch and W much more. I can completely understand with your circumstances how I would be putting it in the back of my mind also. Never know what the future holds for either of us.

I feel the same about living alone. Other than a short period of time while in the military and living in the barracks away from her, I've never lived fully alone with all the responsibilities attached before. It's so much work with very little down time but liberating at the same time. With how much my W is working, 50-70 hours a week, I end up with maybe 1 or 2 afternoons to myself after work but it's good. Playing the mom and dad role at the same time can be challenging but I can't complain having my kids this much a week. It's definitely a new challenge where we can grow as individuals.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fogg #2633721 12/21/15 02:49 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
N
NDY Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
Thanks Fogg. I hear where you are coming from friend. Growing and learning is most definitely the upshot of this. When I start to think how tough it's getting I think back to my Mother who had 4 of while on her own (my Dad died when I was very young) and she managed and she didn't heave nearly the same resources I have. She's still going strong now.

As for thinking about my sitch. Yea, I still have that desire to have the 'why' convo. To go over everything in minute detail. How it happened so fast and how I had no clue etc but the reality is it won't help nor give me any satisfaction. So I try not to think in those terms. It's just business with her now.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2633805 12/21/15 07:06 PM
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
Our man from the west has become as strong as Lanarkshire steel (you'll get the connection bud!). Funny, we've gone from being quivering men to strong, outgoing chaps. Not bad eh?


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy #2633816 12/21/15 07:31 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 986
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 986
Dearest Huddy and NDY,

I have never posted on either of your threads, as I never felt I had anything to offer. But I would like to offer this. I have lurked on both your threads for many months and watched and heard the pain that you both experienced and the challenges and at times the overwhelm you felt, at the beginning and beyond.

But what always struck me about you two beautiful men, was the mateship that I saw grow between you. It has been something quite special for me to watch as you both evolved as individuals but the support and care you offered each other, and the friendship and comraderie, gave me much pleasure.

Just writing this I am a litte tearful because the work you have done has been incrediable. You are a lovely solid men that any woman would be lucky to have.

Thank you so much for allowing me to see you evolve. I have a quiet crush on each of you and your care and support of each other has grown my respect for the value of mateship and male friendship. I so needed that lesson.

Sorry to go on, I just know that you Huddy are going to have some time off the boards and what better time of year to stop stalking both of you, and let you know how I feel.

Much love and may you and yours have a beautiful fun filled holiday season.

JellyBXXX

Last edited by JellyB; 12/21/15 07:34 PM.
JellyB #2633873 12/21/15 09:38 PM
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
Thanks Jelly B! Hope we have helped you in your struggle.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy #2633916 12/22/15 01:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
NDY! Yeah, living alone for the first time here as well. Not what I wanted, but like a five year old hating a new food until they actually taste it, I must say once I give it a chance it isn't bad. When my kids are here I love being with my family, when they're not it's my time!

If you haven't seen Louis CK's stand up bit on divorce you have to youtube search it. He elaborates on how awesome it is in a way that only he can express to that level...

Take care!


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Zues126 #2634088 12/22/15 07:49 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
N
NDY Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
Fogg. I just read your latest post. I will go over there and post something.

Jelly, if Huddy and I have in the slightest way helped or given you any kind of hope then I'm glad to be of service. I know Huddy feels the same. Hugs.

Huddy - yea, Lanarkshire Steel right enough. Someone has a thread entitled 'Strong is wat's left when you run our of weak'. I kinda feel like that.

Zues, I just watched your you tube video. That was hilarious. Seriously funny and apt. Thanks for pointing me at it.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Page 5 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard